ladies and gentlemen, as an adjunct to Sandmanfez's earlier question, i would be very grateful for your advice on a matter of some delicacy. about six years ago i moved - in my mid-twenties - to a small town in northern england for a new job. i moved into a shared house along with a girl of the same age who i'd never met before. we got on really well - as friends - and became very close. obviously i fell in love with her, it wasn't reciprical and things got a bit awkward so i got a new job and moved far away. i'm now happily married and have a child. i would like to become friends with this woman again, she really was a great friend and we have a sort of 'proxy contact' in that our respective friends vaguely know each other. now then, i thought the obvious thing would be to send a christmas card - my concern however is that i'm not absolutely sure that this girls knows that i'm now married with a family, i however know that she isn't - but i also want to apologise for my perhaps ever-so-slightly immature behaviour as a rampant young man throwing his toys out of the pram. so, how can i a) delicately let her know that i'm married, b) would like to re-kindle our friendship - and nothing more, and c) apologise for being a prick without writing an enormously long letter that makes me look like an obsessive stalker? i'll deliver the card/note/pressie to her work next week, as i happen to be in that small town on business. i rather fancy getting her some form of pressie, probably in the form of a book - she's an avid reader - any ideas? cheers, i'm very, verty grateful for your advice. cc.