A lady dies and goes to heaven

#1
A lady dies and goes to heaven. She arrives at the pearly gates and is
greeted by Saint Peter. There are a few people waiting, so she strikes
up a conversation with him. Just then, she hears a blood curdling
scream!

"What was that?" she asks.

"Oh, don't worry about that," says Saint Peter, "it's just someone
getting a hole drilled in their head so they can be fitted for their
halo."

A few seconds later, she hears another agonised scream, this one even
more terrible than the one before.

"What was that?!" she asked anxiously.

"Oh, don't worry," says Saint Peter soothingly, "It's just someone
getting holes drilled in their back so they can be fitted for their
wings."

The lady starts to back away. "Where are you going?" asks Saint Peter.

"I think I'll go downstairs, if it's all the same to you," says the
lady. "But you can't go there," says the saint, "You'll be raped and
sodomised!"

"It's OK," says the lady, "I've already got the holes for that
 

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