A Killer Reply

#1
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a Sky News interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

   
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going toteach these young boys when they visit your base?
   
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
   
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
   
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
   
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
   
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them Proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The T.V.went silent.  Interview ended, the only sound was the camera crew laughing!
 
E

ex-dvr

Guest
#9
In an interview shortly after the sept 11 2001, apparently Gen. Schwarzko was asked if there was any forgiveness to the people who harboured and abetted the terrorist who carried out the attacks on USA his answer "I believe forgiveness is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting"
If it's true that is all time classic military answer..
 
#11
A trooper going by the nickname Knowsley who was desparate to leave the forces, when asked on his leaving interview by the OC, 'So what are you going to do when you leave the Army?', he replied 'A cartwheel past the Guardroom Sir !'.  

I found it funny......
 
#12
One straight from the horses mouth (well HVM Boy's anyhoo)
The setting - early morning in a damp, cold platoon harbour, the pair of us monging on stand-to.

C.O.         "well, how did you sleep last night?"
HVM Boy  "same as always sir, I closed my eyes and
                waited"

probably been done before, but still makes me chuckle
 
F

flash_to_bang

Guest
#13
I was having a tactical tommy-tit on exercise (in the days b4 portaloos) and an orofice in a well spoken infantry regiment stumble on my clearing with, I presume a similar mission in mind.  his words on seeing me were "er.....don't get up" :eek:



on the subject of what to do on leaving the mob-a mate told the co he was going to "live on a house boat, grow a beard and smoke dope"
 
#14
Here are two entries from the log book in the ground crew shack Aldergrove in the late 80s.

a lowly member of the Groundcrew bimbling along after his 24 hour shift,strolled past an Officer from the RAF without saluting.He was called back by this Officer and asked why he had not been given the necessary respect,and asked if RAF Officers are not saluted in the Army.The humble groundie thought about this for a while and then replied, i dont know, we havent got any.

Again after a hard nights work,the Ground crew shack looked like a bomb had gone off,that mixed with the smell of fried breakfast and stale farts,not a place to visit.However the CO decided to do just this on his way to work.Having taken stock of how things looked and smelt, he went ballistic and asked who was in charge here?To which a young Air Trooper replied " Eh, you are Sir".There came no reply and the CO stormed out shaking his head knowing that he had been trumped.

Two examples of how the small man being honest comes out on top.  
 
#15
Similar to main_drag's ......

A RSigs Maj was attending a guest dinner night in mess kit at RAF Lyneham a few years ago and walked in through the main gate having been dropped off in a taxi. The barrier was raised to let him in and the RAF Cpl was stood in the doorway to the Guardroom with his hands in his pockets. Seeing this the Maj went up to the Cpl in a state of some distress and challenged "don't you pay compliments in your service?" to wit the Cpl looked him up and down and replied "of course. Nice strides sir!" and went back inside the Guardroom.
 
#16
Not from the military, but a killer reply (authenticated, but names omitted to protect the guilty):

Scene: the editor's Xmas party, free bar, late o'clock.

Editor to journalist:  Drunk again, M...?

Journo to editor:  Aye, me too sir.
 
#17
A certain unamed chap on No 2s parade with boots in rag order was asked by the inspecting officer "Are those your best boots soldier X"
Soldier X replies "Two pairs sir, no favourites"
 
#18
Our former Sqn 2IC was the only man I know who needed puttees on his sleeves as well as his ankles (O.K - so that dates me a bit).   I'm told (but haven't authenticated) that, while on parade, he was asked by the CO whether he had a 'best' beret.   'Oh, yes, Sir.   In fact, I'm wearing it.'
 
#19
Beaconsfield - late 1980's - at the guardroom, approx 1900 hrs.
"Cpl XXXX, call me a taxi will you"
"No sir, I am not a taxi service. Find a 'phone box."
" But I am Crown Prince XXXXXX of XXXXXX (somewhere in the middle east)."
"Sir, in this guardroom I am God, so f**k off!!"  ;D

He did.
 
#20
Officer to Jock in Germany:

Pl Cmd - Pte...., This is the third time in as many months you've been arrested for fighting in a brothel, wat have you got to say for yourself. Fankly i'm disgusted.

Pte - Me to sir, it cost me £50 and i never got a shag!

Pl Cmd - .................
 

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