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A joke for today

#1
I stole this joke from someone else.


On a walkabout a teacher asked Tony Blair if he would like to lead the
discussion on the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asked the class
for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stood up and offered, "If my best friend, who lives on a
farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him,
that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Blair, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove
over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the PM. "That's what we would call a great
loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Blair searched the
room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet
voice he said: "If an aircraft carrying you, Mr Blair, was struck by a
"friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy. "

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Blair. "That's right. And can you tell me why that
would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't
be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
 
#2
Tony Blair as a young 18 yr old goes into the pub, waltzes up to the bar, grinning. Calls out to the barman 'get me 6 double whiskeys!'
Barman slides across, '6 double whiskeys eh? Well young man you must be celebrating, whats the occasion?'.
Tony replies 'well today I had my first blow job!'
The barman smiles 'well young lad that is an occasion to celebrate, have 1 on the house from me, 7 double whiskeys coming up!'

Tony frowns, 'er, no it's ok if 6 don't get rid of the taste then 7 won't!
 
#4
A man goes to a gun shop and asks for a gun and a scope. The owner hands it over and tells the man to test it by looking at the house on the hill, which is the owners house. "You should be able to see my wife" said the owner. The man replies "All I see is a man and woman running around the house naked!" The owner takes the gun, looks through the scope and swears. He hands the man two bullets. "With these two bullets, I want you to blow off the mans dick and my wife's head. If you do that for me you can have the gun for free" The man looks through the scope, hands one of the bullets back to the owner, and says "I think I can get them both with just one shot..."

:wink:
 

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