A hero for our time.

#1
Good effort!

The drama began when officers spotted Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, "parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26". According to the Newcastle Herald, they thought he "might have a weapon"* since he was "doing something with his hands in his lap".

He was in fact "partially clothed with his genitals in a jar", a police report explained. The perp made a dash for it, was pulled, refused to exit the vehicle and four officers were obliged to persuade him from his car.

The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".

A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".
 
#2
ExplodingTrousers said:
Good effort!

The drama began when officers spotted Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, "parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26". According to the Newcastle Herald, they thought he "might have a weapon"* since he was "doing something with his hands in his lap".

He was in fact "partially clothed with his genitals in a jar", a police report explained. The perp made a dash for it, was pulled, refused to exit the vehicle and four officers were obliged to persuade him from his car.

The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".

A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".
In what order was he using them?
 
#3
"He pleaded guilty to the aforementioned raft of charges yesterday at Newcastle Local Court. The role of the Jack Russell in the incident is not noted."
:hump: :clap:
 
#4
Edna-Clouds said:
"He pleaded guilty to the aforementioned raft of charges yesterday at Newcastle Local Court. The role of the Jack Russell in the incident is not noted."
:hump: :clap:
Probably barking up the wrong tree. :D
 
#5
When they say "750mm Jar" which dimension was 750mm then? And when did they measure it eh?

And what's the law in Oz relating to Jar abuse? Is there a minimum size for an appropriate jar?

And as for sitting "partially clothed with his genitals in a jar" is the problem because he was partially clothed and should have been fully clothed or totally nude?

And what's wrong with keeping your genitals in jar? My Nan used to keep her teeth in a glass by the bed f'feck's sake. Perhaps he had detachable genitals.

And why don't they stipulate the precise nature of the "Homemade sex aid"?
 
#6
Surely the fact that he had his genitals in a jar would constitute being clothed? If Speedos count...
 

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