A Good time to Die

endure

GCM
I do not recall knowingly initiating a homosexual encounter, or inserting myself into a man.

^ To the best of my knowledge this is a factual denial of the accusation that I might be proactively gay.

What's the difference between a gay man and a straight man? 8 pints of lager...
 
Point of order.
Can I just ask if anyone knows the answer to this. When a person dies of Coronavirus does the virus not die with them? Does it not require a live host in order to survive and profligate?
Or does the virus leave the dead person like a Bat Out Of Hell?
NHS have been told to wear PPE when handling corpses.The suggestion being that movement may expel air from the lungs, and spread the pox that way.
More stuff here. I looked at it. (Spoiler alert - they don't know)
 

endure

GCM
Not in my case. I struggle and protest.

And I don't drink lager.

It's not the struggling that's the problem - it's the impression that you give up far too easily...
 
With the Government disposal of contaminated bodies via the crem and no members of families unable to attend and no costs to fork out, well that will do for me, being the tight fisted Yorkie or so I am told. Would you like a state paid send off I know I would.
What happens if members of your family die twice?
 
You dry they and use them when playing the cards, snap, one ear equals 2 pints
What if you only want one pint? Don't you get some change back from your ear? :?
 
Free drink? You've just planned to get covid 19 for the free cremation so I don't think you're the type to lay on a free drink! :)

P. S. If we meet you HAVE to stay 2m from me... that's the law!
And upwind too?
 
Good question. I might take advantage of this offer in a couple of weeks, even though no bugger can attend my funeral anyway.
Several members of the site may pay their respects afterwards on the spot where your ashes lie. Some may even water them or lay down some organic fertiliser in your memory. Personally I shall send a mass card to your nearest and dearest leaving no doubt that I am a chum of yours on ARRSE. Picture that in your dying moments.
 
Several members of the site may pay their respects afterwards on the spot where your ashes lie. Some may even water them or lay down some organic fertiliser in your memory. Personally I shall send a mass card to your nearest and dearest leaving no doubt that I am a chum of yours on ARRSE. Picture that in your dying moments.
Yes. Bring as much water and fertiliser as you can. The more you spread far and wide, the more you saturate the soil, the better.
Organic fertiliser - that sounds classy.
 

ExREME..TECH

On ROPS
On ROPs
Rumour has it that it can live on inanimate object for some considerable time. IE supermarket trolley hand grips, door handles, newspapers, paper money etc.
I'm not worried. Not even Covid-19 could live on the money I make.
 
So who's going to give you viaticum? You won't go upstairs to your heaven with baby jebus if you don't get it will you? ;)
Technically the Church frowns on cremation anyway.
 

Goatman

ADC
Book Reviewer

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
Indeed...so good we said it twice - you can never be sure.......ahem....pass the port.
Do you know the Bishop of Norwich?
 
F*ck! My mum was cremated on the 19th, a few days before the lockdown. Total cost just under £5K!
What would happen if said person died in hospital and you didnt have any money (nothing in the form of an estate) or conscience (pre Covid-19) and you just said fuck em?

5k seems extortionate, sorry Mum.
 

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