A final solution for cadet staff.

Discussion in 'OTC and ACF' started by maninblack, Oct 10, 2005.

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  1. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    We seem to have a greater number of incidents around the world that demand semi military intervention by HMG as part of Bliar’s world regime.

    My thought is that as the ACF/CCF is packed with those that profess to play the game but know they will never be asked to do so……


    Invite them to add their skills to a ready reaction team.

    What do the masses think?
     
  2. God help us......
     
  3. Think I’ll convert to Islam now and beat the rush :roll:
     
  4. Welllll......

    One of two things would happen. Either they would be successful, and Brown would instigate another rewrite of Options for Change/SDR/FAS which would involve sacking most the Regulars, making the Reserves the main core of the Army, and committing the ACF to JRRF. It would also have the effect of providing a useful pool of experienced combat veterans about to turn 18, which would remove the need for ATRs, with further associated cost savings. Or they's lose badly, which would be hilarious, and we could conscript all the chavs into the ACF, thereby reducing the crime-rate in our towns and cities, and providing another useful cost-saving.

    I think it's a winner. ManInBlack deserves a reward of some kind. Quick, mate, write to GEMS before someone steals your idea. :D
     
  5. Be funny if i get my call up papers on my doormat, until i remember how the squaddies gets shafted daily by the Govt and discarded once their usefulness is up.
     
  6. Maybe the letter would be something like this:

    _______________________________________________________________________________________




    11 October 2005



    Dear Sir/Madam


    As you may be aware, the current manning levels of the British Army are at crucial point and HM Government are obliged to take drastic measures.

    You have been identified as and ACF Adult Instructor in the rank of 2Lt on a Type B TA Commission.


    We are very short of officers to lead men into battle and if you fit into the following criteria, please expect to be called up at short notice to be deployed to: IRAQ/AFGANISTAN/CATTERICK/PIRBRIGHT (delete as applicable), notify your employer that you may be required to move within 4 hours notice.


    If you are suffering heart palpitations right now, or you note a strange brown substance dribbling from your rectum, you should seek medical attention at this stage, and phone your GP before proceeding with this letter.


    Drastic measures criteria:

    Are you over 50? (Note this is your age, not your waist size)

    Can you run? (Short dashes of 3 feet to get your fags from the coffee table do not count at this stage)

    Is your military Training up to date (reading Soldier magazine in 1971 does not qualify)

    Can you lead men? (Intentional mistake, please ignore)

    Do you own a Para/Windproof smock? (All AI’s can skip this question as we already know the answer)


    If you meet the criteria, please return the attached form headed:


    Yes I am eligible for Military Service as long as I get paid training days so I can sit in the Officers Mess on Annual Camp drinking tea all day looking at other adults doing all the work with cadets



    Address it to:

    MemSec

    Lets all have a laugh (LAHAL)

    Room 101

    MOD

    London
     
  7. You forget that Cadet leaders are expert in copious superfluous paperwork shuffling and filing and other intricate backroom tasks.. placing them on active duty would free up a number of fighting types from admin and support/supply duties for use in the field..[ of course ordering stuff and actually getting it in time for use will be totally feckerd and may cause some small spike in casualties at the front end as bullets might not arrive in time or be of the right calibre, but...] this could save having to up the recruiting efforts from the less desireable cadre of society...
     
  8. + plus they would bring a load of cadets whose lack of ability is made up for enthusaism and ruthlessness and blood lust :lol:
     
  9. average cadet aged 14ish think mini gurkha without the scruples :twisted: child soldiers work well in africa and columbia :evil:
    although for peace support ops they may be rather problmatical although human rights lawyers won't be a problem targets will fall when hit :twisted: any comeback in front of youth court for 6 weeks adventure training :twisted:
     
  10. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    So, it seems I may be onto something here.

    The logistics would only go to rats if the county QMs and the CEOs were deployed to do the job. The average member of the cadet staff would be red faced & sucking air through his hoop at the exertion of walking above 3mph but able to ensure that a dozen 14 years olds arrived bang on 7 oclock and were able to capture half of the Gulf armed with 1 rifle between 5 cadets, two pencil sharpeners for CQB and a verbal promise of some more blank after annual camp.

    Oh, and at least three of the locals would complain about bullying and their fifteen year old daughter being pregnant.
     
  11. Goatman

    Goatman LE Book Reviewer

    Gosh Person-in-dark-kit,

    this all sounds like personal experience coming to the fore here.....I knew Semper was an almost grown up Kaydet of some nature but I hadn't appreciated your obvious close target recce knowledge of the speccies...sorry...species :cool:

    My local ACF has the worst drill of the three units in town....I can only believe that it's because no self-respecting professional soldiers want anything to do with them....and because they are afraid of what their mates might say.......

    Seems to me if the regular have shined you on, and the TA have told you to 'sod off you old fart and get a life' then you could do worse than totter along to the local Cadet force and see if they need someone who knows one end of Rifle,5.56mm from the other.....

    Lee Shaver
     
  12. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Well, oh most tracked ungulate, there are good instructors and bad instructors with the ACF. There are those who have worked with cadets in the regular army and those that haven't, some have good experiences, some have bad.

    Would you care to explain what your beef is with the ACF?

    Is it based on real experience or are you just singing from the favourite hymnsheet that has the words "My mate in the NAAFI/down the pub said about the ACF......?"
     
  13. MiB

    I take that as it was meant I hope as very tonque in cheek, I can think of a lot of AI's that would suit and BTW I do not own a para smock/dennison jacket at all and have no wish to.
     
  14. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Yup, some of my ACF comments are tongue in cheek, I am proud of what the ACF achieves for the young people of this country and my tiny part in it......and yes, I do own a para smock and have done so since the early 80s. :p

    My original thought in starting this thread was half joking and half wondering why HMG does not take more advantage of the skill pool available.
     
  15. it is an interesting point re using all the skills available, i know most of what you said was tongue in cheek, there may be some merit in what you are saying short of going of a war zone.

    the Iraqis will probably just p1ss themselves laughing at the Lardarses wheezing away while climbing over a sand hill to attack them.