A few Pearls of Wisdom

#1
I came across the following gems under the heading “Things that it took me 50 years to learn”.  (Not me I hasten to add – not yet anyway.)

1.      Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2.      If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be meetings.
3.      People who want to share their religious views with you hardly ever want you to share yours with them.
4.      You should not confuse your career with your life.
5.      No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
6.      Nobody cares if you can’t dance well.  Just get up and dance.
7.      Never lick a steak knife.
8.      The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.  (ARRSE must be a real power station then!)
 
#2
You forgot the most pertinent to us as members of the armed forces:

"DON'T BELIEVE YOUR BULLSH1TTING CAREERS OFFICE!"
 
F

flash_to_bang

Guest
#4
My old Dad said the best advice to remeber about getting old was
1. Never pass up the chance to have a piss
2. Be careful when you fart
3. Never waste a stiffie
 
#6
Be careful who you sh1t on on the way up 'cos you'll meet them again on the way down. :mad:
 
#8
The toes you tread on today may belong to:
  • the arrse you have to kiss tomorrow
  • the foot that kicks your arrse tomorrow
 
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