A fete worse then death

just got woken up by a ******* brass band marching past my window (didn't get to sleep till 7.30 this morning.)suddenly remembered its the village fete today the bastards.

Our village fete is like a characters from little Britain and the league of gentlemen get together with lots of little old ladies from the W.I calling the shots and acting like blue rinse Mafioso and various mongs from far and wide descending on the village green.

but that said I will be going down there to the donut van for a bag of fresh donuts.

I wont be having a go on the name the sheep stall though....I think the prize is a yrs worth of conjugal visits with said sheep. (this is wales after all)

Anyone else having to endure a piss poor community event this weekend?
 
Heaven forbid a group of like-minded individuals get together to create an event for that sorely lacking community spirit.
Christ sake, get your bag of donuts and lock yourself back away behind your barricades, while you cry quietly over old well thumbed issues of Combat and Survival, as you plot the demise of the Christmas festivities you Grinch
 
Armed forces day fete in the next village, village show in my village
And spitfires laters as well
We don't get bands , we get tractors
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
just got woken up by a ******* brass band marching past my window (didn't get to sleep till 7.30 this morning.)suddenly remembered its the village fete today the bastards.

Our village fete is like a characters from little Britain and the league of gentlemen get together with lots of little old ladies from the W.I calling the shots and acting like blue rinse Mafioso and various mongs from far and wide descending on the village green.

but that said I will be going down there to the donut van for a bag of fresh donuts.

I wont be having a go on the name the sheep stall though....I think the prize is a yrs worth of conjugal visits with said sheep. (this is wales after all)

Anyone else having to endure a piss poor community event this weekend?
Sounds an excellent prize, prey do tell where are you n Wales, if it's not too far I might grace you with presence.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Heaven forbid a group of like-minded individuals get together to create an event for that sorely lacking community spirit.
Christ sake, get your bag of donuts and lock yourself back away behind your barricades, while you cry quietly over old well thumbed issues of Combat and Survival, as you plot the demise of the Christmas festivities you Grinch
Leave him alone, it's every ones right to be a miserable bastard, that's what we fought for all them years ago.
 

DaManBugs

LE
Book Reviewer
just got woken up by a ******* brass band marching past my window (didn't get to sleep till 7.30 this morning.)suddenly remembered its the village fete today the bastards.

Our village fete is like a characters from little Britain and the league of gentlemen get together with lots of little old ladies from the W.I calling the shots and acting like blue rinse Mafioso and various mongs from far and wide descending on the village green.

but that said I will be going down there to the donut van for a bag of fresh donuts.

I wont be having a go on the name the sheep stall though....I think the prize is a yrs worth of conjugal visits with said sheep. (this is wales after all)

Anyone else having to endure a piss poor community event this weekend?
Hey, stop being such a grim Jimmy! Such events are there for a reason. Get into the swing of things and see the positive side that folks (still) want to preserve a sense of community. A very precious commodity in this day and age of atomisation and "every wo/man for her/himself". We need each other to survive. And who knows? You might even enjoy yourself.

MsG
 
Is AFD why everyone on face book is posting chad phots of them self up in uniform and chopsing off about bands of brothers and warriors letting gentle people sleep and freedom shit like that?
 

Blue Vinny

War Hero
Where I live we are up to our armpits with Morris/Clog dancers,Irish jiggers,fiddlers and accordion players. It all goes on until Sunday evening, but thankfully alcohol is available to kill the pain
 

alib

LE
It may liven up.
600full-the-wicker-man-screenshot.jpg
 
Find the beer tent, enter the beer tent, stay in the beer tent until the tent is taken down or you are taken out.
 
I was once asked to run the "Whack the Rat" stall at a local event,I got booted off whe the Boy Scout massive came along.
I ended up helping the single mothers run the tea tent.
 
just got woken up by a ******* brass band marching past my window (didn't get to sleep till 7.30 this morning.)suddenly remembered its the village fete today the bastards.

Our village fete is like a characters from little Britain and the league of gentlemen get together with lots of little old ladies from the W.I calling the shots and acting like blue rinse Mafioso and various mongs from far and wide descending on the village green.

but that said I will be going down there to the donut van for a bag of fresh donuts.

I wont be having a go on the name the sheep stall though....I think the prize is a yrs worth of conjugal visits with said sheep. (this is wales after all)

Anyone else having to endure a piss poor community event this weekend?

Just back from the school "fayre". It pissed it down most of the time and the youngest one is on the naughty "dont come downstairs till we tell you you can"

Village fair was a couple of weeks ago
 
It's Village Day next weekend which means the whole village will come to a standstill and people'll get drunk in the village pubs and break glasses. I love it, always increases my glass sales and my disposable glass sales! Plus all the women seem to compete to see who can show the greatest amount of cleavage. Mind you last year there were some horrors in shorts, some of them looked like an elephant wearing a g-string from behind.
 
S

syledis

Guest
I had an Orange Walk flute band ( and i use the word band sooo loosely) parade up my street at 8am this morning!

*******
 
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Village fete and dog show tomorrow. The Hound will be entered as usual and I can't wait to see how he disgraces himself this year. Last year it was a growl at the judge when she felt him up and the year before he pissed on her.

He and I will then retire to the beer tent, rosette free, and partake of the hog roast that is being set up as I speak. The pub is open all night tonight to provide a steady stream of hog monitors as the thing burns to a crisp overnight. It will still get eaten.

The local MP will open festivities and will hopefully have had his wife dress him as last year he turned up with his shirt tucked into his Y fronts and the waistband showing. Classy.

A lot of people will have a lot of fun. Generally too much will be drunk and eaten and not one tit will get out of hand. The odd Mong from Crewe will turn up having been banned from all licenced premises within 20 miles and will get fucked off by Big Martin in between his face painting duties. Someone took the piss once about him doing face painting. Just the once.

The primary school, church roof, Scouts etc and old folks weekly gathering at the Red Cross hut will all get a bit of cash.

No outdated notions of patriotism, old English life, doing a bit of good for someone else whilst having a bit of fun or the eating of pork products were used in this production.
 
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