A&E Adventures

Discussion in 'Professionally Qualified, RAMC and QARANC' started by mizkrissi, Jan 28, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. This thread brought to you by....."encouragement from others in the chat room" lol.

    We all have stories of things we have seen (and heard) in ED, A&E, cas... whatever you want to call it. Put them here for all to see. Keep them relatively cleanish but medically in depth and we should be able to stay out of the naafi....

    To start the ball rolling (so to speak)


    A couple BIBA, her cowgirl, him under. We were all a bit curious why they were both on there so the charge asked

    "Why didn't you bring them in separately?"

    Ambo "Well go have a look for yourself and if you can separate them go for ya life!"

    Charge went to look and came back double time, grabbed nearest M/O and took them back to the couple. A few questions were asked of the couple. Charge and M/O went off to another corner and heated discussion took place. Couple were trundled off to the procedure room....

    Turns out they were shagging she had her glasses off picked up a tube of superglue and not the KY she was after. Squirted it up herself, slid onto him and hey presto bonded in seconds.

    I am not sure I want to know why they had superglue on the bedside table 8O
     
  2. Ventress

    Ventress LE Moderator

    D-L and others be very careful here my 'friends'.
     
  3. indeed ventress thats why i said keep it cleanish so as not to offend (thought i might head trouble off at the pass so to speak)

    Perhaps to broaden terms of reference may help keep it clean?


    Patient of mine told me this story (old salt ex 'nam medic vet) was once present when they had to remove an unexploded grenade from some poor sod. He had been hit by shrapnel in the gut and they were trying to patch him up when the VC lobbed in a grenade. Thing didn't go off but landed straight into the gut wound. They had to evac him very carefully and then the bomb boys came into theatre to deal with the grenade extraction in conjunction with the surgeons who were trying to stop the poor lad bleeding to death. He said apparently was quite common for the medic teams to get targetted like this.
     
  4. Dui-lai takes note to move superglue from beside bed.......just in case 8O
     

  5. Leave the superglue in the workshop, not next to the KY jelly, the tubes are the same shape(As I found out to my horror 8O 8O 8O :oops: )
     

  6. Ahhhhhhha!!! Thought i recognised your um....errr...ummm feet :wink:
     
  7. the thought brings tears to my eyes :cry:
     
  8. Acetone , the mearest smell still brings tears to the eyes 8O :oops: 8O
     
  9. Acetone...now that reminds me of a chemist I used to know. Not the "hello Mrs Pepperpot your prescription is ready" type chemist but the proper type of chemist. He swore black and blue he could make an aphrodisiac/erectile sustainer from simple ingredients. He said it was so easy you could do it at home...

    Well me being me said ok if you really can do it you can test it out on me :wink:
    So he toddled off saying give me a few hours or so. Ended up his distillation tubing in his little lab at home broke so he had to "borrow" some from his workplace and the creation of said "love potion" took a little longer than he expected.

    Anyways the 'big day' came. He had this gloopy stuff in a pot. He took me through how he had made it (I forget now so don't bother asking) and then said "Rightio I've kept my end of the bargain now its your turn."

    So we went to his room. There were dirty clothes and bits of computers and stuff everywhere, very romantic. He got his shirt off in anticipation. He said all he had to do was slap a bit on himself, smear some on my bits, give it a minute or two and then instant WEYHEY! I was a little more reluctant and wanted proof it was going to do what he said it would before I got my kit off. So he dropped kecks and slathered it on himself...

    About 5 seconds later there was a definite change in his member. It went bright red-brown, he started howling in pain and then the skin started blistering. I dragged him to the bathroom to wash the stuff off and as I did the skin started peeling off with the gloop. He was understandably in considerable pain. I asked him what the hell was in it he reeled off a list of things that included an acetone derivative! I offered to call an ambulance he said no, so I took him instead. They were very good about it at the hospital. They cleaned it and dressed it properly. He ended up with partial thickness burns. Poor bugger was out of commission for months and the little fella never really recovered properly - due to the scarring. Needless to say the incident was never spoken of again.

    Well till now :twisted:
     
  10. PMSL Misskrizzi :lol:

    excellent stuff......I have a lab made substance, you might want to try it out sometime :wink:
     

  11. To use the immortal line of previous

    "Ok if you really can do it you can test it out on me :wink: "
     
  12. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer


    Noooo Miz !

    D-L's famous for his lav made substances !

    8O
     
  13. No, no, no......this time it's love made substances :wink:
     
  14. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    No D-L, it's definitely lav made substances !
     
  15. Ask her when she finds out :wink: