Over the weekend I had drunk a large amount of beer, wine and gin (in separate glasses, I'm boring like that). I had also eaten a lot of rich food. The result: digestive system working overtime, and producing pleasing (to my nose, at least) results. So there I was, sitting on the train on the way home. I let out a little gas, seriously tiny, but it was one of those oh-so-violent ones. Just as I was basking in my own glory, I noticed in the seat opposite was a rather old lady. A thought immediately hit me. I was crawling at the windows. I wanted to get out. It didn't bear thinking about. This is what went through my mind. What if she was wearing a colostomy bag. What if that colostomy bag had just ripped, letting out the foul rancid material, and associated smell, within? What if that smell had mixed with (or overpowered) mine, and there I was enjoying it, thinking it was mine? I'm still scarred from the idea.