A Date with BuggerAll..

#1
I think BuggerAll has finally made me see the error of my t'internet ways.

He quite rightly bollocked me recently and, if I search deep into my soul I have to admit he has a point. I am uneccessarily cruel, I target the weak and the defenceless and in a vain attempt to bolster my own faltering personality and thinly disguised fragility I spit venom and spite at anyone i consider fairgame.

The first step on my long journey to change this wounded and vengeful heart into a beacon of morality, of justice and of giving and love is to repair the fractured ties that me and BuggerAll share.

Knowing little about him but his probable age, an afternoon at Doncasters utterly essence Xscape, throwing ourselves headlong down its heady slopes whilst laughing together and high fiving may be a bit much.

Quaser may be out as well as I get flashbacks and last time forearm smashed a nine year old from Salford whilst screaming at his Mum in broken Pashtun.

Any ideas where I can take him? If it goes well and we finish the night warmly embracing and waving each other off into the night ill make a habit of it and start making amends with them that theatrically spit out swear words and kick their Nans cat when I write rude words and funnyish descriptions.
 
#2
Since this is the NAAFI

Once up the ricker blah blah blah :)

Any mini moto events happening

Chasing your mates around a go Kart track on impossibly small bikes is a fookin hoot plus if you can nerf em off the accidents can be quite spectacular
 
#3
Where can you take him? Up the arrse so he can be outraged and use a larger font a lot.
 
#4
Since this is the NAAFI

Once up the ricker blah blah blah :)

Any mini moto events happening

Chasing your mates around a go Kart track on impossibly small bikes is a fookin hoot plus if you can nerf em off the accidents can be quite spectacular
Fair one, I get the feeling he is overly competitive though, if he comes off his ride and starts bleeding gravy all over the track Im going to be no nearer to mending his wounded heart.

I am leaning towards some theatre, a few malt whiskies and two's up on a Jap whore on the way to Piccadilly via the Tropical Palm in Chinatown.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#5
Since you are both male, you can skip the usual bullshit that is required on a date. He won't be impressed if you order the most expensive bottle of wine at Pizza Express, neither will he give a shit if you pay for the taxi home.

If I were in the same situation, I'd get a bottle of cheap brandy and head straight to the local park after sundown. Find the bush where adolescent kids stash their porn, you know the one that the tramp sleeps in during the day? Then take it in turns to stick your sweaty fingers in each other's mud eyes. You never know, you might even find some like minded blokes who will also be up for a bit of claypipe destruction.
 
#6
Since you are both male, you can skip the usual bullshit that is required on a date. He won't be impressed if you order the most expensive bottle of wine at Pizza Express, neither will he give a shit if you pay for the taxi home.

If I were in the same situation, I'd get a bottle of cheap brandy and head straight to the local park after sundown. Find the bush where adolescent kids stash their porn, you know the one that the tramp sleeps in during the day? Then take it in turns to stick your sweaty fingers in each other's mud eyes. You never know, you might even find some like minded blokes who will also be up for a bit of claypipe destruction.
A male arsehole is one thing but a saggy male arsehole is another.

It's like rocking up to a Kings of Leon gig and finding Bon Jovi doing an acoustic set instead..
 
#7
Theatre ??

So who's wearing the dress or are you going to take it turns :) (says he who laughed his arrse off at Avenue Q at Wyndhams )

Oh contact details for the oriental minx would be greatly appreciated
 
#8
Theatre ??

So who's wearing the dress or are you going to take it turns :) (says he who laughed his arrse off at Avenue Q at Wyndhams )

Oh contact details for the oriental minx would be greatly appreciated
Like I said, Tropical Palm, couple of streets down from Long Legs, its a cesspit with frightened looking immigrants in babydoll nighties dancing awkwardly in the reception.
 
#9
Well this thread has yielded some quality results ! Me and Northern_Monkey are off to Legoland on Saturday followed by some big eats at Harry Ramsdens and Jim24 is taking me fly fishing on the River Aryn Saturday next.
 
#10
You could always take BuggerAll to the crimbo panto. Think of what a treat it would be for you both. ;-)

TPBD
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
You could always take BuggerAll to the crimbo panto. Think of what a treat it would be for you both. ;-)

TPBD
JR111 is ex RM so he's probably seen loads of blokes dreessed as women mincing about
No point going to the local funhouse that ball park assault course will give JR flashbacks to basic training

Why not put all your favorite medals on and walt it up down the Legion
Most outrages story wins the night
 
#14
You upset me once as well you horrid man.

Buy me a big box of Milk Tray, take me dancing, a light supper and a few drinks, and you can use my brown eye all night long as a willy warmer.

Be aware that my anus does currently look like the Sarlac Pit from Return of the Jedi.

 
#15
Hold up,what's all this talk of jolly nights out? Does this mean the Facebook Memorial page should be taken down and the JRIII Memorial Bench should be cancelled?
 
#16
dont bother with exscape,as its wakefield,not Donny..just carry on a little further along the 62,to 'Ull where you could park at the humber bridge viewing area(Ull side NOT my side),and enjoy a leisurely hand in hand stroll over the massively-in-debt-still structure,and really get to know each other,when you arrive at the decent side,ie North Licolnshire,and realise youre at Barton-on-Humber,which to be fair is not so impressive,do a smart about turn and slow march all the way back to the Hull side,where you can open the boot of your p reg Nova,pull out your tartan design thermos,and pour a nice brew(sorry WET),..very very romantic,male bonding experience!
 
#17
Hold up,what's all this talk of jolly nights out? Does this mean the Facebook Memorial page should be taken down and the JRIII Memorial Bench should be cancelled?
He's making his peace with those he has hurt, before the malignant lumps break out of their beachhead in his prostate, and gnaw away his vitals with their sharp little teeth.
 
#20
I think you may have to have an evening in with Ravers's mega death wet watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here. As you bezzer it up you need to have the feeling of true camaraderie this can only be done with a special shared experience.


Just after you have both voted for Gillian Mckeith to do the bushtucker trial again you should plant the seed of female company. A couple of swift halfs of the mega death wet and your on the phone for a taxi to take you from your country retreat to the thriving metropolis that is Leeds.
The taxi takes an inordinate amount of time to get there but this adds to the excitement.

Once there you make an excuse to go and see a man leaving BuggerAll in dingy pub playing electro dance music whilst he sips on his blue WKD. Again the fact that he is in strange surroundings adds to the tension.

Next think you're back with a spring in your step dragging BuggerAll to the next Acid House real ale pub.

He's in full swing with the music when you make the offer of something to liven the evening up. A quick trip to the stinking toilets and BuggerAll is now a sexual tyrannosaurus.

Then it's off to the massage parlour where you decide on a couple of young Eastern European chicks in the same room. You admire each others action and as you pound away and as you pull out to finish JR_III, BuggerAll reaches over and finishes you off by hand and your return the compliment.

The night is a blur and then it's off to some warehouse club that only has 6 people in it including the bar staff. It’s now early morning and the birds are starting to sing and it’s feeling a little chilly, a taxi ride back as dawn breaks by a Nigerian man to whom you have to give directions constantly.

Back in the house you are safe from the madness that is the outside world and you are with your new best friend. You both finish of the mega death wet and slip comfortably into a much needed sleep. You both awake later to wonder if it was all a dream and BuggerAll makes his excuses and leaves you wave him off down the path

He's enjoyed his evening but his inner self makes him feel that it was wrong but so right and every time he sees you or thinks about you he has that excited feeling.

Or you could go ice skating.
 

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