A Chav Nativity!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Private_Pyle, Dec 13, 2005.

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  1. There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She'snot married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? Hedoes joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

    One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

    Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that. But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

    Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End. Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

    Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.' So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that. Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
     
  2. .... phat.
     
  3. I'm an atheist innit ...Am I'bovvered? eh? am I bovvered ? am i BOVVERED ?
     
  4. Totally chavtastic P_P :lol:

    Must have taken you ages to write that...errr...properly,innit?
     
  5. Cant you carry on with the story? It is brilliant and really really funny :lol: :lol:
     
  6. Probably not seen as it was on the site somewhere else a few days ago :roll:
     
  7. And last year.
     
  8. Awwww...little diddums Stabcnut is really feeling the pain today, eh chopper?

    Pick your lip up off the floor and wipe the snot off your face.

    It's like Blondecnut has excreted a male doppleganger. Fcuk off.
     
  9. Stab, I really do believe that the best part of you ran down your mothers legs, albeit an unnatural childbirth as it appears you came from human form! :twisted:
     
  10. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator