I received a phone call today from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic." "Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now," I said, "I'm a bit older and grayer and balder than when you last saw me. Also, I don't really have the energy I used to have." She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge." "Yeah," I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider now. Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone. Everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I'm developing jowls like a Great Dane!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, grey haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself." So I told her to fuck off.