72 virgins

do I seem normal

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#1
OK first topic so a bit nervous.
What I want to know is just what exactly our terry taliban friends are expecting to be able to do with their 72 virgins when they arrive in heaven?
Surely the dopes can't be assuming eternity will be sexual bliss, especially as they'll have to stone to death all they de-flower. Would anyone want to spend eternity with 72 virgins for any other reason. That is of course if their virgins are acceptable for their preferences.
Could someone please find out for me so I can consider converting from paganism.
I am also considering the Norse deities as objects for worship.
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#2
72 virgins?!?! Pah!

I'd swap 72 virgins for 1 filthy slut any day! At least the filthy slut will know what she's doing!
 
#6
The latest research suggests that for 'virgin' read 'grape', so all suicide bombers would receive 72 grapes.

It has long been a staple of Islam that Muslim martyrs will go to paradise and marry 72 black-eyed virgins. But a growing body of rigorous scholarship on the Quran points to a less sensual paradise — and, more important, may offer a step away from fundamentalism and toward a reawakening of the Islamic world.

…The Quran is beautifully written, but often obscure. One reason is that the Arabic language was born as a written language with the Quran, and there’s growing evidence that many of the words were Syriac or Aramaic.

For example, the Quran says martyrs going to heaven will get “hur,” and the word was taken by early commentators to mean “virgins,” hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant “white” and was commonly used to mean “white grapes.”

Some martyrs arriving in paradise may regard a bunch of grapes as a letdown1. But the scholar who pioneered this pathbreaking research, using the pseudonym Christoph Luxenberg for security reasons, noted in an e-mail interview that grapes made more sense in context because the Quran compares them to crystal and pearls, and because contemporary accounts have paradise abounding with fruit, especially white grapes.
 
#10
RearWords said:
If I became a muslim and a woman suicide bomber would I get anything?
To post a question like that in the Naafi Bar you must be a very courageous woman. :D
 
#11
Comment re law forbidding rumpy with virgins overlooks that same 'law' allows men to enter into short term marriages. Couple of hours times 72 does not seem a lot for all that trouble though
 
#12
RearWords said:
If I became a muslim and a woman suicide bomber would I get anything?
Does the Koran actually say if these 72 Virgins are female? or could all these Taliban be in for an unpleasant surprise when they die?
 
#15
stacker1 said:
RearWords said:
If I became a muslim and a woman suicide bomber would I get anything?
Does the Koran actually say if these 72 Virgins are female? or could all these Taliban be in for an unpleasant surprise when they die?
More to the point, could they be camels. It would terrible, if they were camels AND ugly too :twisted:
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
Markintime said:
The latest research suggests that for 'virgin' read 'grape', so all suicide bombers would receive 72 grapes.

It has long been a staple of Islam that Muslim martyrs will go to paradise and marry 72 black-eyed virgins. But a growing body of rigorous scholarship on the Quran points to a less sensual paradise — and, more important, may offer a step away from fundamentalism and toward a reawakening of the Islamic world.

…The Quran is beautifully written, but often obscure. One reason is that the Arabic language was born as a written language with the Quran, and there’s growing evidence that many of the words were Syriac or Aramaic.

For example, the Quran says martyrs going to heaven will get “hur,” and the word was taken by early commentators to mean “virgins,” hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant “white” and was commonly used to mean “white grapes.”

Some martyrs arriving in paradise may regard a bunch of grapes as a letdown1. But the scholar who pioneered this pathbreaking research, using the pseudonym Christoph Luxenberg for security reasons, noted in an e-mail interview that grapes made more sense in context because the Quran compares them to crystal and pearls, and because contemporary accounts have paradise abounding with fruit, especially white grapes.
blimey charlie - you go to all the trouble of sewing yourself a semtex waistcoat and then get given a bunch of grapes when your reach your destination.

it's enough to give you the pip.
 
#20
THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP is specifically designed

to be implanted in the forehead of Islamic terrorists.

When properly installed it will allow the implantee to speak direct to their God.

It comes in various sizes:



The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly-skilled British technician to the following exacting standard.
The implant may or may not be painless.
Side effects, like headaches and nausea, are temporary.
Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.
 
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