7,000,000,001 and counting............

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by sportbilly42, Oct 24, 2011.

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  1. With the global population due to click past the 7 billion mark by the end of this week, is there any realistic hope that a 'Proper Plague' can be released so that it doesn't get too bloody crowded in here? Bird Flu was great for the pharmaceutical industry, they made millions, but as far as clearing out the dead-wood and taking the numbers back down it wasn't overly effective.... Other pandemics that make the papers and get everyone panicking have been as scary as The Millennium Bug... Hopeless....

    Surely the boffins at Porton Down could for once justify their existence and mix a few fluids in a couple of test-tubes. It can't be that hard... Something that's a bit more capable of targeted kills rather than a general 'vapours' released at random would be my preferred option, otherwise the plague could just as easily take out 'good blokes' yet leave the dross and pikeys alone... Not good for the future of Mankind.... (And something that could be sent ParcelForce so that it could start anywhere other than UK)

    Perhaps they're already putting the finishing touches to a new Target Specific Plague and just need to isolate a few more DNA targets so that when 'the vapours' are released, the results are a bit more scientific and worthy of the squillions of pounds that have been invested in the place over the last half century.........?

    They really need to get a move on now though.....

    Any ideas to help them out, or anyone got a better plan to make the planet a few billion bodies lighter?

    (This subject may have been done to death - every subject under the sun seems to have been covered on this site - but nothing came up on the search, so feel free to bin)
  2. Maybe if we make some half-arsed virus we'll get a zombie outbreak!

    Now that would liven up my Wednesdays :)
  3. Well we need not worry about over population or targeting certain types.......21/12/12
  4. plagues are just so unreliable these days the third world just needs a good war to thin the numbers out it dosen't take mutch to get the africans killing each other and probably not that hard to get a little war going in the far east then we sit back and make a profit like the yanks did in the last big fight but don't get drawn in of course.

    unfortunatly while looking for a population clock i got distracted on the mails website so i never read the article bu this one was much better




    so whens the 7th billion human going to arive?
  5. There's plenty of space for everyone....in Siberia and the Sahara. Just do the old trick, but with a new twist, instead of saying 'Gold Rush', just say ' Free hamburgers'.
  6. good odds its gonna be indian or a chink what odds do you give that if its born in africa it will come with HIV as a preorder bonus

  7. don't forget there is probably going to be a war over the last bit of oil
  8. If you were to kill yourself, it would postpone the 7th billion one arriving and prevent this problem.

    Take the hint.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Every third child born in the world today is Chinese. And my Dad's getting suspicious!
  10. plagues are too random, we need to target our victims a bit better.
    How about getting a rearly good hypnotist on the tele to convince everyone watching to top themselves.
    We could give him a permanant slot on the Jeremy Kyle show and clear up the dolie problem.
    Then put him on "My big fat pikey wedding".
    • Like Like x 1

  11. Make giving aid of any kind to Africa illegal. Punishable by death.

    Tell Pakistan that India looked at it in a funny way.

    Tell Isreal that Iran just called them a bunch of poofs.

    Death Sentence for all Chavs, Pikies, Nonces, Illegal Immigrants, Serial Killers, Jeremy Kyle's Guests and everyone else on the Daily Mail's Final Solution List.
  12. and Tesco bean counters...............every little helps.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. The only problem with such highly specific creations is that they tend to evolve. Rapidly. Very fuckin rapidly. And with hugely unpredictable results.

    Secondly, a sample can give a bloody good idea where it came from. Which might just lead to retaliation, and/or condemnation.
  14. There was a rumor that the sarf efricans were working on a weapon that only targeted the blacks...