60 Degrees (and a few minutes) North.

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by k13eod, Dec 31, 2010.

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  1. I got here safely thanks for asking!

    I tearfully handed the keys of my modest 2 bedroom terrace house in North East Kentistan to tenants on Saturday 18th December, climbed into the over laden Ford Focus with a confused looking dog and set forth into the blizzard to head the 560 miles north to Aberdeen. Clearly the weather was having a devastating effect on travel plans but what the ****, I had allowed myself 27 hours to get there in time for my ferry northwards to Shetland on the Sunday … just how wrong can you be?

    It took me 2.5 hours to get out of Kent a journey of some 10 miles to the Dartford Crossing, and after travelling for 11.5 hours found myself a little under 90 miles away from my start point courtesy of the police closing the M25 and finally turning it into the car park we all joke about and large portions of the M1 being covered in snow, abandoned cars and jack-knifed lorries. As for the roads NE of Glasgow and onwards to Aberdeen, how I survived I do not know … but I did, arriving 34 hours after leaving and 3 hours after my ferry left!

    I managed to find a hotel that accepted dogs and abandoned the car in a snow drift outside confident that the contents would be safe as the temperature plummeted to -15. The car took some extracting the next day before some impromptu Christmas shopping (a phone call had told me there was a turkey/spout/parsnip/sausage meat shortage in Shetland) and vented the dog on a beach … the day before he had set a new canine record of going 26 hours without a shit! Finally managed to get the ferry on the 20th and had a remarkably smooth crossing before arriving in my new homeland on the morning of 22nd.

    The house is in disarray with much unpacking still to do but we had a cracking Christmas and looking forward to some quiet solitude in our new home.
  2. K, get yourself down, or up, to the rugby club and get a few down your neck
  3. K13, glad you are well and truly out of the way. I hope you get settled in and have some St.Bruno as at least it'll give you something to do.
  4. Most things are down from here! 16 miles into town so will have to plan a trip to the rugby club ... but not tonight though!

    Plenty to do mate ... dog proofing the garden seems to be a priority unless spring lamb is going to be on their menu!
  5. Great stuff i've already checked out ferry prices.
  6. Good for you ... but before you book anything I shall check with Northlink to see if they still do the Islanders 'family and friends' discounts.
  7. Most kind and if you need any shopping from the mainland let me know. I imagine your diet will now be mainly fried seal blubba.
  8. Well done mate, I know how tiring that journey in conditions not as bad can be, well done.

    Well done to the lad as well, he must have curled out the shit to end all shits, I'll bet it was steaming and rather fragrant to all downwind.
  9. Driven all over the world in some of the most awful conditions imaginable ... but that journey was right up there with them.

    Should have seen the monster that emerged from his arse mate; he was up to his thighs in snow and the thing jacked his arse skyward so that his nose went under the snow. I left it there as a tribute to him ... so if you find yourself in Hamilton Services they now have the alternative 'Angel of the North' with a sort of curly wurly theme.

  10. :grin: :grin: Good lad.

    When we lived by Peterhead, we left the dog behind and went to Kirkaldy for a wedding. Got caught in weather and the dog had been 18 hrs without a piss when we got back, fully expecting to see the kitchen floor swamped. But he had held it in all that time and when I was opening the door for him, he burst out, cocked his leg against the fence post and pissed for Britain. It was steaming and just went on and on...and on. His eyes were sort of glazed with pleasure as the ever growing puddle lapped round his feet, then he had a monster crap in the garden that must have weighed at least 3lbs when I eventually lifted it up by spade..
  11. Monty fancy a trip north?
  12. It would have to be seperate beds.
  13. Looks interesting and only £12 a night for caravan/motorhome and £10.70 for large tent.

  14. K13 hope you enjoy your move to Iceland anything north of Aberdeen is just notright, hope you enjoy the big adventure in Gods country and where are the photos of king turd?