ARRSE is supported by the advertisements on it, so if you use an adblocker please consider helping us by starting an Ad-Free subscription.

60 Days for a wank

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by western, Jul 26, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. You couldn't make that one up

    Masturbating lag cops 60 days' extra porridge

    'Indecent exposure' rap for five-knuckle shuffle
    By Lester Haines

    A Miami lag who decided to crack one off without hiding his modesty beneath a blanket was sentenced to 60 days' extra porridge on an indecent exposure rap, the Miami Herald reports.

    Terry Lee Alexander, 20, was caught on camera by a female Broward Sheriff's detention deputy who saw him indulging in an uninhibited five-knuckle shuffle last November while she was monitoring inmates from a "glass-enclosed master control room".

    Coryus Veal told a court this week that Alexander "did not try to hide what he was doing as most prisoners do".

    The case hinged on the definition of Alexander's cell. His defence attorney Kathleen McHugh argued it was a private space, but the jury eventually decided it was actually neither public nor private, but rather a "limited access public place". This turned out to be bad news for Alexander, since beating the bishop counts as indecent exposure, even if public access to the spectacle is limited.

    The pre-trial jury selection provided some light relief for the participants when McHugh asked 17 potential candidates who among them had never run in single user mode. "No hands went up," notes the Miami Herald. Hughes subsequently probed Veal by demanding: "Did other inmates start masturbating because of Mr Alexander? Did you call a SWAT team?"

    "I wish I had," replied Veal - probably truthfully since she also charged seven other inmates with the same onanistic outrage.

    In the end, it took the jury of four men and two women just 45 minutes to find Alexander guilty. Broward County Judge Fred Berman duly sentenced Alexander to 60 days' chokey on top of the 10 years he's currently serving for armed robbery. Juror David Sherman said: "It was pretty straightforward. The prosecution's case was clear, and the defense did not dispute any of the major elements."

    Of the seven other cases of Veal copping an eyeful, four pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and were sentenced to time served, one was dropped, and two are pending.

    A spokesman for Broward State Attorney Michael Satz confirmed "prosecution is warranted when an inmate exposes himself in plain view of the detention staff or others". He added: "Female detention deputies are human beings, too. Why should they have to view such vulgar and indecent behaviour in their place of work?" ®
     
  2. I was going to make a meaniful reply but I miss read the thread and thought it said 60 wanks in a day - I can beat that...lol
     
  3. For sixty days it had better have been a proper dead left arm, overhand grip, two fingers up the hoop, lubricated with swarf, in front of a full length mirror, trying to get your man muck on your own reflections chin pokey bum wnak.

    Anything else is a waste. :twisted:
     
  4. It could be painful if it is man porridge.
     
  5. Better than sex; that can earn you a life's imprisonment (surprise or the kind that gets you married)

    In future they should spaff on the camera before asking a female warden to lick it off as they playfully rub their baton between their legs...

    I'm off for ummm... yeah...
     
  6. Do you think she had 'issues' or was her head really a jiz radar? It appears that she charged eight of them in total. Or did she just get her tits out a la Midnight Express.