50 ways to leave your lover ....... ARRSE Styleeeeeee.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LordVonHarley, Jan 27, 2008.

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  1. I was chatting to one of my mates who is of the opinion that dating women off the internet then braking up with them in the most spectacular way could catch on as this summers top sport in the city. This is after he had a blazing arguement on the first date with a cyber bunny boiler.
    How would you brake up with an internet loonie?

    Take her to her favourate restaurant, where she knows everyone, then mid meal stand up and shout "What do you mean you caught the clap off your brother?" then storm out?
     
  2. My normal method of making sure I never saw a woman again was to actually date her. Worked a treat.
     
  3. Arrange to meet at Heathrow with tickets (insert airport of choice) for romantic break to somewhere you know she likes. Arrange paging of "Miss X, waiting to meet Mr Y" Followed up with, the handwritten note explaining "Sorry can't make it, feel free to go without me."
     
  4. Go and meet her with your new Girlfriend!
     
  5. tell her uv turned me gay
     
  6. Kick them in the nuts/fanny and say you were crap in bed, I'd rather masturbate.
     
  7. Ultraviolet turns you gay? Someone inform the APTC!
     
  8. I can say from experience that this one really does get the message across and even brings on a case of waterworks.
     
  9. Introduce MDN............need I say more?
     
  10. Phone her from BATUS and tell her you have caught the clap.

    If she is a weak willed annoying little tart she will say

    "I'm upset but i can forgive you."

    Then mobile number and get a friend to return her letters to her with "POSTED TO IRAQ" written on the back of the envelope!
     

  11. Too late! 8O
     
  12. Do what ALL brave soldier do, TEXT them!
     
  13. I still think Cheryl Cole will be better off as an ARRSE Maiden than being with Cashley. If she really means it, I think we should let her stay.