Saw this and thought it worth sharing: The novel "Fifty Shades Of Grey" has seduced women - and baffled blokes. Now we have Fifty Sheds Of Grey, which offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up against a wall ... but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed. She stood before me, trembling in my shed. "I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you want with me." So I took her to McDonalds. Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles. She still manages to get into the shed, though. "Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed, calmly. "Mmmm, kinky!" she purred. "Yes," I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof." "I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip. "I need to be punished." So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend. "Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded, brandishing stilettos. "I think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me the receipt. "Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks." She nodded. "Okay," I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay. "Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a real man can!" "Very well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up. "Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously," she said, gently massaging my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD.