50 Shades of grey.

Discussion in 'Sick Jokes' started by phil245, Oct 17, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    no pleasing women...
    having' a Barry White earlier I realised there was no bog roll left, :(
    looking around I noticed me Mrs had left her 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' lying on the floor, so me being me I wiped me arse with that... job well done you might think...
    anyway half hour later the mad bitch runs in on me as I'm trying to watch the footy screaming, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU....??? I'VE ONLY HAD THAT FUCKKIN' KINDLE A WEEK, YOU CNUT.
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Help yourself.
    • Like Like x 6

  3. Because you'd fucking know what a weapon is.
  4. I'm pinching that gag Phil245.
  5. Yes actually. I've put around (conservatively) 20,000 rounds through various weapons ranging from .22 LR though .303, 7.62mm to .577 Nitro Express over the years.
  6. Bowmore_Assassin

    Bowmore_Assassin LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Hilarious. Not. About as good as Fifty Shades of (utter) Shite - the worst book I have read.

    So, your utterly shite entry is double shite. Just saying like - and I am being polite.
  7. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Call Of Duty doesn't count.
  8. Nice try :) . I had 4 pistols on my FAC in the UK before they were confiscated by Blair in 97. I was moving out here at the time. so Fulton's at Bisley handled it for me.

    I used to have a Dillon Single-turret reloading press in S.Africa, and reloaded all my own ammo while I lived there.
  9. So what? Just proves what a wannabe tit you are? Shooting guns for no reason and hanging round military websites in a lame attempt to join in.

    Pathetic wanker.
  10. There are civvies on ARRSE - get over it, or ask your carer for more medication. Have you tried Lithium?

    BTW, that really is your photo in your avatar, isn't it?
  11. I would say that that constitutes a bite...
    • Like Like x 2
  12. I think you're right... anyway, don't worry - it's just 'The Guru', who fondly imagines himself to be The Sheriff of Arrse.

    You really do log-on from the Home for the Bewildered, don't you?

    "Shooting guns for no reason" - that would be called a 'hobby' and a 'sport' (and at night in downtown Jo'burg in the early 80's 'a fucking good idea'). Your hobby is obviously being a bit of a cock, but each to their own.

    I know you've had this explained to you before, but as you're obviously hard of thinking I'll explain again. On the 'Home' page of ARRSE it says:
    "The aim of ARRSE (in so far that it has one) is to provide a useful(ish), informative and amusing site for people with an interest in the British Army". Notice that it doesn't say serving and ex-forces types only?

    I really am flattered by all the attention you lavish on me, so by all means please do carry on.
  13. Is that why he has such a large (albeit rusty) Sheriff's badge?
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Don't flatter yourself. Anyone that shoots guns for a hobby is a weird cunt. Anyone who hangs round military sites when they're not in the military or married to one is a weird cunt. Your pathetic attempts to join in are cringeworthy.