5 Rnds, in your own time, carry on. Firing squad straw poll.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheLordFlasheart, Mar 25, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Ok, you have a Lee Enfield .303. You are NCO i/c of a firing squad but you have the power to bring into your sights anyone you choose. Who would it be? Lets make it a top five.

    Heres mine;

    1. Anyone who is a paid up member of the Liarbour party (obviously).
    2. Anyone who considers the thought 'Lets sort our problems out on the Trisha show'.
    3. Anyone who spends more time on their image than their personality (anyone under the age of 26 and any bloke that has a haircut that looks like he doesnt give a fcuk but actually spends more time than a doris preening himself to give the impression that he 'doesnt give a fcuk').
    4. Anyone who drives a Mercedes/BMW/Ford with alot of optional extras/MPV/French car/the tosser who cut me up this morning. (Dumb cnut-2 1/2 tons of 4X4 V8 death versus Rover 200/MG ZR mit baseball cap....No brainer. Wish I'd turned in and squashed the chav now, would have prevented benifit payments and stopped the gene pool becoming shallower than a puddle in Romford high street).
    5. Anyone who makes a real life comparison to a soap opera and their own life....and takes it seriously.

    (Due to my PNHRSD.....psuedo Napolionic hate ridden snobbery disorder, I hate all living species from the genus Homosapian and would wish all forms of humanity destroyed to enable us to start again by my fav method; small bomb, big cloud. Therefore, I have rationed myself and you lot to only five catagories).

    Oh, happy feckin Easter, you bunch of sheep like his :roll:
     
  2. daz

    daz LE

    Feckwit chav tosspots who park in disabled parking bays because it's 5 feet closer to the shops, wankers
     
  3. somebody upset you last night ? :wink:
     
  4. Have you thought of prozac ?
    My starter for five That greek cowardly pouf who is letting the ta down.
    An animal right protestor anyone will do
    dito pro lifer
    Barnie
    Wanna be lefty student radical scum
     
  5. Easter? Appropriately a quick name check of the 1871 Census for Scotland , shows there are 25 people registered in the census with the surname Easter, 8 named Egg and 5 named Bunny.
     
  6. I'd shoot any stage, film, or TV performer that thinks his or her political views are worth listening to.
     
  7. By happy coincidence, there were five little c*nts whizzzing up and down my street last night on those horrible little flatulent-sounding micro-motorbike things.
     
  8. Think Flash might have had a drink last night.

    The plus side of a fully stoked up Lee Enfield is that the round will probably pass through more than one body there fore more people on the list could be slotted.

    Saying that I would probably just settle for shooting Bonnie Langford in the face 5 times......... God I fcuking hate her.
     
  9. jacques chirac,
    students,
    welsh rugby players
     
  10. daz

    daz LE

    Tosspot singers "releasing" "charity" records in a vain attempt to resurrect their flagging careers by proving how fecking caring they are.

    Ditto wank wannabes that have "won" a TV talentless contest releasing cover versions of classic songs (will young doing elvis WTF)

    If we line all the feckwits up in a line, how many of the feckers could we slot ??


    Mick "i'm a ginger twat who wishes he was black" Hucknel (tied to Tom "homeboy" westwood)

    Any bald halfwit with a pony tail, you've got no fecking hair, get over it.

    Daz
     
  11. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    A straw poll eh ?

    I think that kicks it off nicely.

    01. - Jack Straw aka The Great Satan
    02. - Bliar all family members & anyone who has ever thought of him without the word 'wnaker'
    03. - Two Jabs Prescott
    04. - Grasping Gordon, possibly the most totally unhinged Porridge Wogs.
    05. - Any MP that would ever dream of voting for anything any of the above has ever said.

    As MDN said, the advantage of the 303 is that we can line them up and slot a group at a time.
    The above list is just for my 1st rd, although serials 02 and 05 might be pushing the penetration of the 7Z a bit.
    Also serial 03 might need a rd all of it's own.
    More to come when I calm down.
     
  12. You drive an MG 200? Fookin' hell.
     
  13. Try tying a bit of wire over the width of the road. Problem solved.
     
  14. 1.France
    2.The Liarbour Party
    3.Islamic Fundalmentalists
    4.Ant & Dec
    5.Lucky the dog (More Than Insurance Commercial)
     
  15. Ragyman