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37 Year Service SAS Veteran

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So your mum has died and this chap is still alive? Why bother?

If he did 37 years and you've known him for 25 was he still in when you first met him?

If not then assume joins at 18, does 37 years which means if you met him straight after he left he'd be 55 plus the 25 years you've known him, he's now 80.

Better get cracking before he karks it from old age.

(Am I overthinking this?)
Give it 6 months and he will be allowed to sign back up
 
Hello all, been waiting 25 years to out my bull-shitter father in law. The reason I've waited so long is because my mother loved and believed this conman. She passed away last night so now I feel I can introduce you to one of the best Walts that ever had the cheek to walk this earth. Please hold tight because I'm in a daze at the moment as I've just lost my mum but I'll be back to update this thread for you as soon as I'm ready. This prick is a prize catch for you - trust me! See you soon.

I take it your mother topped herself in shame after realising what a shítstain she had spawned...
Any chance you could emulate her?
 

Jammy66

War Hero
Maybe he was the guy I met in London a couple of years ago on Remembrance Sunday. It was later in the evening in one of the watering holes, he was on his own but being 'loud' and imposing himself on various groups. When I asked some direct questions, making conversation, he suddenly got all aggressive and wanted to fight me!!

He looked a bit of a nutter to be honest so I humoured him and left when I knew he wasn't looking. Definitely the sort you want to avoid at all costs.
 
I remember about two years ago I was in the Red Lion minding my own business, when some twat starts giving me the Spanish Inquisition! 'What's yer last three, do you know Chalky White in 264, I'd get the beers in but I'm skint, you're actually quite attractive?' etc. I offered the cnut out, but he bottled it.
 

Jammy66

War Hero
I remember about two years ago I was in the Red Lion minding my own business, when some twat starts giving me the Spanish Inquisition! 'What's yer last three, do you know Chalky White in 264, I'd get the beers in but I'm skint, you're actually quite attractive?' etc. I offered the cnut out, but he bottled it.

Nope, wasn't me and it wasn't you!
 

Euclid

War Hero
I remember about two years ago I was in the Red Lion minding my own business, when some twat starts giving me the Spanish Inquisition! 'What's yer last three, do you know Chalky White in 264, I'd get the beers in but I'm skint, you're actually quite attractive?' etc. I offered the cnut out, but he bottled it.
Eh? Are you a chick or just a rather attractive male specimen?
 

BratMedic

LE
Book Reviewer
Attempting to follow this thread without having spent Friday night on Cillit Bang cocktails and pints of Brasso is impossible, I shall retire with my hot buttered toast and Patum Peperium (Gentleman's Relish to you plebs) and breakfast tea.
TTFN
 
Attempting to follow this thread without having spent Friday night on Cillit Bang cocktails and pints of Brasso is impossible, I shall retire with my hot buttered toast and Patum Peperium (Gentleman's Relish to you plebs) and breakfast tea.
TTFN

Cillit Bang and Vimto is for winners.

Bang! And your weekend is gone!
 
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The Bourbon biscuit.

Now there's a proper Walty biscuit in my opinion.

You know where you are with a Malted Milk, and I quite like the little cows in the picture. A custard cream or, dare I say the name, a Jammy Dodger is a delight.

And the Nice biscuit is a treat. Except I'm never really sure if it's pronounced "Nice" or "Nice" which is a bit confusing.

But the Bourbon? It masquerades as a chocolate filling, it tempts you and teases you.

But it never is on investigation. It's just a sort of ersatz cocoa.

That's proper walting.
 

Bob65

War Hero
The Bourbon biscuit.

Now there's a proper Walty biscuit in my opinion.

You know where you are with a Malted Milk, and I quite like the little cows in the picture. A custard cream or, dare I say the name, a Jammy Dodger is a delight.

And the Nice biscuit is a treat. Except I'm never really sure if it's pronounced "Nice" or "Nice" which is a bit confusing.

But the Bourbon? It masquerades as a chocolate filling, it tempts you and teases you.

But it never is on investigation. It's just a sort of ersatz cocoa.

That's proper walting.

Is it just me or do you ever find you want that? Once or twice a year, maybe, I find that I don't want coffee, I want Nescafe. Or I don't want potatoes, I want Smash. Or those plastic cheese substitute squares.

Anyway these are pretty good, I highly recommend:

 
The Bourbon biscuit.

Now there's a proper Walty biscuit in my opinion.

You know where you are with a Malted Milk, and I quite like the little cows in the picture. A custard cream or, dare I say the name, a Jammy Dodger is a delight.

And the Nice biscuit is a treat. Except I'm never really sure if it's pronounced "Nice" or "Nice" which is a bit confusing.

But the Bourbon? It masquerades as a chocolate filling, it tempts you and teases you.

But it never is on investigation. It's just a sort of ersatz cocoa.

That's proper walting.

For Walting confectionary try an eclair in France. For a desert with a French name you’d expect it to be proper good. Tastes like it’s been filled with sweetened cavity wall insulation.
 

Looks familiar. There was/is a walt goes round Coventry In an old Range Rover with SAS stickers plastered all over the windows and even om the number plate. Always wore a blazer with SAS crest on and some times the beret.
Same bloke was a member at the village gym where he hung around the pool in Leopard print speedo's, then took to doing exercises in front of ladies in the sauna which got him banned.
 
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