3 Wishes

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Sabre, Apr 18, 2005.

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  1. Sitting around bored out our tiny little minds at work again today, wondering what intresting topic of converstaion would arise, when it occured to me, what would i do if i had been given 3 wishes, and not be allowed to wish for more wishes.
    Now you all see the beauty contests where i think one of the standard response is 'WORLD PEACE' or 'AN END TO POVERTY'

    Lets look at the reality of this, if for some strange and bizare occurance you were given 3 wishes, you would use them to get yourself ahead, we all have a selfish streak in us, and sod the starving in 3rd world countrys, 'I wanna win the lottery' attitude.

    So mine would be

    1, Be the richest bloke in the world for all eternity- For obvious reasons

    2, Immortality- so can have fun in shoot outs on the battle field etc...

    3, Immunity from all crime- goes for the reason above, no point doing a crime and getting sent down for life is it, if your immortal.

    What would your wishes be and why?
  2. hmmm good one... well best looking bloke in the world is out coz I am fookin GORGEOUS!!! (my mum tells me that all the time)

    1st. Win £50,000,000 on the euro millions

    2nd. Never have to pay tax on ANYTHING ever again.

    3rd. Grow a second penis (not on me head) so I can actually say "I was lioke a dog with two dicks" and actually know what it feels like to double penatrate me sister... ooops did I just say that?
  3. Ah, a chance to finaly release the child in me, so here goes,

    1) The power of invisibility
    2) Be able to fly, I've done the falling thing, now its time to see what its like to go up!!!
    3) World peace, no sorry, sod the world, more money than i'll ever be able to spend in 2 life times
  4. 1. A glass of guinness that keeps refilling.

    2 and 3. Another two of them.
  5. I'd wish for....

    A) my knees mended

    B) to be back in the Army

    C) 10" C0CK...cos this things unmanageable and give me back ache when i get a stiffy ;)

  6. All terribly selfish gentlemen..not at all in the Miss World genre of altruistic wishes, so to shame you all I would give up my wishes this-wise:-

    1)To have Tony Blair skinned, coated with Ralgex and then placed in an autoclave for ten hours...

    2)To have Geoff Hoon skinned et cetera....

    3)To have Gordon Brown...

    Bugger! That's my three wishes gone, at least they were expended for the good of mankind!
  7. 1. The power to stop time and take a sneaky peak up skirts/in ladies changing rooms/to punch people and then run off without them seeing me/to steal bags of money from the bank.

    2. To be able to eat/drink what the fcuk I want without being a porker/getting heart disease.

    3. Immortality for the wife and me. Kind of sad and sappy but she is a stunner and is superb company.
  8. 1. The ability to speak all the languages of the world fluently
    2. Infinite ammo
    1. An infinite number more wishes, of course!
  9. Fack me this took a while to think of three wishes.

    1. Get everyone on my "to be slotted" list without doing any time of course - reduce my stress.
    2. Have exactly the amount of money I need for whatever I need whenever I reach into my wallet - no budget worries anymore.
    3. Exactly the right armour/weaponry/ammo I need to destroy whatever threat comes my way whenever I need it - again stress reduction.
  10. 1. A photograhic memory - would save me a fortune in porn (one scan of a mag and its all stored up for later use ... and I will have both hands free!)
    2. A codeword to be whispered into any woman's ear and she then puts out (not much need for the first wish then!)
    3. Instant teleporting - then I could spend my coffee breaks on a beach in Hawaii and invoke wish number 2.... and remember it all in minute detail.
  11. If ARRSE posting is a competition, then you win, hands down! No questions...
  12. 1. Catch galloping knob rot
    2. Shag Cherie "Wide Mouth Frog" Blair and wait for her to pass it on to Tony "lying f*ckwit" Blair
    3. Find cure for galloping knob rot
  13. Cuddles,

    Is that a compliment? Looking at your previous posts I would say that you could also do well in an ARRSE posting competition.