3 Times a Week!?!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jul 5, 2008.

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  1. Oh, Oh.. here they go again.. the boys in the lab coats with the clip boards are stirring up trouble again.

    Seems the Sex Boffins are claiming that ' older men' need to have sex 3 times a week to stave off/prevent erectile dysfunction.

    Slipping out to the ol' Muff and Beaver for a romp with Khandi thrice weekly will put a huge dent in the pension cheque and getting the missus to leave the flat three times in one week so you can smuggle in the hottie trollop will take far more ingenuity and deep thought than most men want to expend.

    C'mon, afterall, not everyone has a Lezzer in the attic and a randy neighbour/barmaid like Cernnanos to keep the ' tool sharp/blade edged ' , etc., etc... and I don't think they were referring to w@nking over low rez images on the flatscreen, either...

    Better to spend the ' waning years' in beer, barfights and watching old war movies at that rate...I mean, they can't possibly be suggesting that the wifey ' rises to the occasion' three times a week to keep the hubby in shape.. there'd be rebellions stirring in the tenements if the wimmen had to put up/out with that..
  2. You're right.

    Wifey organises Ann Summer's parties and we get to go to the pub. By the time that finishes we're too bladdered.

    They "never bought anything" but got a massage cream for hosting the do. But dinny tell us they bought a Rampant rabbit - aha!!!

    Fine that's why we keep them thick, treat the internet like alchemy where they're concerned but "log" them into internet bingo fnarr fnarr.

    The flat screen has burds with no tache below the nose etc etc.

    Anyway, that's what a friend told me - I don't have internet - this is just a thought I had that must've collided with the ether.....

    Can you still buy ether? is it cheaper than rohyp...

    Oh!!, here's the wife gotta go before i get caught!!! :D
  3. Come on. Where's the link? I need all the influence that I can get.

    Then again, her indoors would probably be happy with erectile dysfuncion. It would save having to put on the act again.
  4. "Just pull ma nightie back down when you're finished" is embroidered where we used to hang the framed "Home Sweet Home" embroidery...

    Sing .....

    "Be it ever so humble
    ye'll never get ma bumhole"

    Sorry not funny but it was quick!!! I sound like the wife!!! :D
  5. I'd like to meet your wife. In a purely professional capacity, you understand.

    How much can you afford?
  6. :D :D Give it a week or so Puttees!!!

    The ex-Mrs Sparky2339 (free eight years past I've been) has just put in a bid for the villa flat below mine - honest mate.

    Don't think she knows I'd be sleeping on top of her again :D Oh how I'd laff myself to sleep if she moved in....

    After a week or two settling in period will need to organise a "reunion" wi all the worst squaddies I ever knew - bbq, karaoke, piss up, big fight etc.

    The redocorating, rebuilding neighbours' sheds etc would be worth it!! :D :D
  7. Below yours? So what gets spilled on your floor would end up coming through her ceiling? Could be fun.

    You got any plans for nurses turning up at your do?

    Or is it one of those Edinburgh all-male things that we read so much about?
  8. What falls through the floor :D

    Carslberg don't make artex but if they did....

    Nurses? Can you supply? I did the annual Nurses College in Edinburgh bbq for years - nuff said!!!

    All male do? fnarr - even the lady boys in the local unit can do a BFT in high heels quicker than us!!!

    What all male do's in Edinburgh do you lot hear about? :D Is the beer n vodka cheaper there? If it is.....
  9. 3 times per week ?, I'm lucky if it's 3 times a year.
  10. Sparky if your looking for "guests" gie's a shout I'm quite good at making a pest of myself under the infulence and could even pish through her letter box as a mild warm up
  11. YesItsMe

    YesItsMe LE Good Egg (charities)

    only 3 times a week?

    the only excuse is you already suffer from erectile dysfunction
  12. Apparently 7 cloves of garlic a day for a couple of weeks cures it.
  13. YesItsMe

    YesItsMe LE Good Egg (charities)

    and after that you won't ever find a woman to come close enough to you to do you :rofl:
  14. Yeah, and makes damn sure anything you were thinking of sticking it in stays weeeeell out of range!!!

    Damn, beaten to it!