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3 surprisings fcuks on returning to the UK...

#1
1. Fcuk! I knew I should have done something about that apple tree before it blossomed, up-rooted and crushed my shed.

2. Fcuk! Dale the Snail is really a bird and all the time I thought she was a bloke that liked c0ck!

3. Fcuk! Cuddles, the scribe of many a fine post and remark that have mad me laugh my lunch over a keyboard has turned from Gunner to THEM... well them from Blandford!

Gosh Toto, we're not in Kansas any more!

So what 3 fcuks hit you on your return to the UK/site/from release at Her Majesty's Pleasure?
 
#4
Haven't been away but do have three things I've learned on ARRSE:

1] MDN is actually a caring, rational human being -even if he did help me kill LNV.

2] 10 people post on ARRSE and 29,990 lurk

3] Half of what regulars post can't be understood by anyone outside a ten mile radius of London, let alone a poor colonial from across the pond.

oh, and as an addendum.. ARRSE attracts more than its fair share of certifiable mental cases [ see. SLUTBOY/FRENCHMONG/GOODKLUTZ -feel free to add any others to the list -myself included ]
 
G

Green_Garfield

Guest
#5
Fcuk - My Civvi mates interest in me being back from op lasted for all of 10 mins.

Fcuk - I'm pissed on 2 pints. on my first night back

Fcuk - I think i left something behind.
 
#6
1. fuck, even someone as new to the site as me miss's the old days.
2. fuck, there are a lot of civies about, all wearing high vis vests.
3. fuck, civies jobs don't pay that well.
 
#8
Detonator said:
smartascarrots said:
Three weegies outside Glasgow Central Station on return from NI in 1990. And they nicked my mobile! Wee f*cks.
Did they have a forklift?
OK, I was a bit of a poser at the time. It was a brick, but hey it made me look rich in front of ra burds and that was what mattered. :D
 
#10
1. Fcuk! When did Aldershot become mini Kathmandhu?

2. Fcuk! How come all the pubs in Victoria Road are full of mongs straight off Jeremy Kyle?

3. Fcuk! How come there's only once decent pub left?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#12
fuck. I've got to drive inside those yellow stripy lines.

fuck. 5 Mars bars in a row wasnt my best idea ever.

fuck. "Bullet wounds? Heh. Nah, they are scars from tropical ulcers. You cant shift them you know. Tried disinfectant, TCP, Mecurichrome, the lot. Then an old boy told me to piss on my hands and rub it in. They were gone in a week. Amazing, eh?" *Exit long leggedy blond stage right*
 
#14
Feck, what happened to the english language. I know mine is not perfect but WTF.
Feck, why is everything and everyone moving at lightspeed for absoloutly no apparent reason.
Feck coming back to this schitt hole. Brown you can poke it.

Dave
 
#15
Living abroad and having recently visited my parents for the first time in months....

Feck, how much do you want for a packet of B&H.
Feck, I never thought that the PC Nazis could stoop any lower.
Feck, is X Factor really the most popular show on TV.
 
#16
FaceLikeAPingPongBall said:
1. Fcuk! I knew I should have done something about that apple tree before it blossomed, up-rooted and crushed my shed.

2. Fcuk! Dale the Snail is really a bird and all the time I thought she was a bloke that liked c0ck!
3. Fcuk! Cuddles, the scribe of many a fine post and remark that have mad me laugh my lunch over a keyboard has turned from Gunner to THEM... well them from Blandford!

Gosh Toto, we're not in Kansas any more!

So what 3 fcuks hit you on your return to the UK/site/from release at Her Majesty's Pleasure?
don't worry...she's got no chebs so its an easy mistake to make
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#18
Fcuk: Why is that bloke who can't speak English checking my passport.
Fcuk: You want how much for a pint.
Fcuk: Where is the fuel card when you need one.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
Feck, I've only been in Holland for a week, and the UK is still the same commie shoithole it was when I left.
Feck, my missus has got a cob on 'cos I didn't phone her.
Feck, my daughter has changed loads, and I missed it.
 
#20
Fuck, Dale knows where I live
double Fuck, She is coming over this weekend
triple Fuck, the bike is knackered and I can't make a decent getaway

PS quadruple fuck, I think my liver has gone on strike
 

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