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28 Stone dummy to train Fire Crews

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by The_Goon, Oct 16, 2007.

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    28 Stone dummy to train rescuers how to lift and rescue fatties.

    ... ARRSE thoughts?

    Personally, I think the fatties should be left to burn. Would create an incentive to be thin and reduce the current numbers of obese people.
  2. That'll be Minister_Doe_Nut then.
  3. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Strap a crash helmet on the unconsious fattwat, tie 200ft of rope around the ankles and tow them out....saves on slipped disc claims.
  4. Thought for a second that you'd stumbled on my resettlement plan!
  5. So Prescott's got a new job already.
  6. You can't do that, imagine the size of the fire if 28 stone of fat was set alight. It would take days to go out and they would need one of those foam chucking machines they use in airports to damp it down.

    Much to dangerous mate.
  7. A lot of the relatives of dead fatties are having a right moan now as they can't be cremated, the size and amount of body fat is too great for the crems to deal with as it would take a massive burner to totally fry them, in the South there is only one that I know of that can do it. They say it's not very dignified for the deceased porkers to be lowered into a grave by a forklift truck or mini crane. Well they should have thought of that before they ate 20 burgers or whatever for breakfast!
  8. Given the expanding size of the fat tawts in civvy street this can only be a good thing for the Fire Brigade. It would obviously be too much to ask that parents feed their spawn correctly and keep them off shiite scoff.
  9. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Would have thought freezing them, then a quick run up the middle with an industrial size bench saw would do the trick.......coffin in 2 pieces with snap-locks holding it together when needed for asthetic purposes...easily separated for practical purposes.
  10. There's no need for fatties to burn.

    Equip firefighters with mobile liposuction units. When they encounter an unmovable fatty, liposuct out sufficient lard for them to be evacuated, then lipofill it back in once they've been rescued.
  11. I can see in the not to distant future a compensation claim by some tosser claiming discrimination as they can not lift the training dummy.

    I am sure it was only a few years ago that a short arrse fem managed to sue as she couldnt get a ladder off the appliance as it was too high.
  12. Some whinging beuro will come up with the idea that it is degrading for firemen to lift fat fcukers and decide they need an increase in pay to offset this hardship - Liabour will decline such invitation, and low and behold by the end of the year we (the forces) will be traing on fat cnuts just in time to fcuk christmas up for the few families that actually have Husbands/wives/brothers/sisters/sons and daughters away from a conflict zone long enough to have a Christmas.

    Rant over.
  13. If you mean you expect another fireman strike over this, it almost certainly couldn't happen. Green goddesses have almost all been sold off, and the Army isn't trained to operate the fire engines used by firemen these days!

    Anyway, I still say let the fat feckers burn - they've got themselves into a bad situation, FFS...
  14. how the feck do you move a 28 stone casualty thats nearly 3 of me :roll:
  15. The news story is saying it's a 6-man lift, so that's a lot of blokes just to sort a fatty...