28 Stone dummy to train Fire Crews

#2
That'll be Minister_Doe_Nut then.
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#3
The_Goon said:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/north_east/7046128.stm

28 Stone dummy to train rescuers how to lift and rescue fatties.

... ARRSE thoughts?

Personally, I think the fatties should be left to burn. Would create an incentive to be thin and reduce the current numbers of obese people.
Strap a crash helmet on the unconsious fattwat, tie 200ft of rope around the ankles and tow them out....saves on slipped disc claims.
 
#6
The_Goon said:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/north_east/7046128.stm

28 Stone dummy to train rescuers how to lift and rescue fatties.

... ARRSE thoughts?

Personally, I think the fatties should be left to burn. Would create an incentive to be thin and reduce the current numbers of obese people.
You can't do that, imagine the size of the fire if 28 stone of fat was set alight. It would take days to go out and they would need one of those foam chucking machines they use in airports to damp it down.

Much to dangerous mate.
 
#7
A lot of the relatives of dead fatties are having a right moan now as they can't be cremated, the size and amount of body fat is too great for the crems to deal with as it would take a massive burner to totally fry them, in the South there is only one that I know of that can do it. They say it's not very dignified for the deceased porkers to be lowered into a grave by a forklift truck or mini crane. Well they should have thought of that before they ate 20 burgers or whatever for breakfast!
 
#8
Given the expanding size of the fat tawts in civvy street this can only be a good thing for the Fire Brigade. It would obviously be too much to ask that parents feed their spawn correctly and keep them off shiite scoff.
 

Alsacien

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#9
jack-daniels said:
A lot of the relatives of dead fatties are having a right moan now as they can't be cremated, the size and amount of body fat is too great for the crems to deal with as it would take a massive burner to totally fry them, in the South there is only one that I know of that can do it. They say it's not very dignified for the deceased porkers to be lowered into a grave by a forklift truck or mini crane. Well they should have thought of that before they ate 20 burgers or whatever for breakfast!
Would have thought freezing them, then a quick run up the middle with an industrial size bench saw would do the trick.......coffin in 2 pieces with snap-locks holding it together when needed for asthetic purposes...easily separated for practical purposes.
 
#10
There's no need for fatties to burn.

Equip firefighters with mobile liposuction units. When they encounter an unmovable fatty, liposuct out sufficient lard for them to be evacuated, then lipofill it back in once they've been rescued.
 
#11
I can see in the not to distant future a compensation claim by some tosser claiming discrimination as they can not lift the training dummy.

I am sure it was only a few years ago that a short arrse fem managed to sue as she couldnt get a ladder off the appliance as it was too high.
 
#12
Some whinging beuro will come up with the idea that it is degrading for firemen to lift fat fcukers and decide they need an increase in pay to offset this hardship - Liabour will decline such invitation, and low and behold by the end of the year we (the forces) will be traing on fat cnuts just in time to fcuk christmas up for the few families that actually have Husbands/wives/brothers/sisters/sons and daughters away from a conflict zone long enough to have a Christmas.

Rant over.
 
#13
If you mean you expect another fireman strike over this, it almost certainly couldn't happen. Green goddesses have almost all been sold off, and the Army isn't trained to operate the fire engines used by firemen these days!

Anyway, I still say let the fat feckers burn - they've got themselves into a bad situation, FFS...
 
#14
how the feck do you move a 28 stone casualty thats nearly 3 of me :roll:
 

Alsacien

MIA
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#16
How many individuals/firemen can realistically lift a 400lb/180kg deadweight while wearing all the heavy firefighting gear aswell? Let alone climb out of a window and down a ladder with one?

If you are that fat and do not live on the ground floor (see towing option), you should either invest in rubble shute like they use on building sites, or an inflatable flameproof slide like passenger aircraft have.

If you care so little for yourself to become 28 stone, it is unfair to expect anyone else to risk themselves to care for you....
 
#17
So...Firemen are being trained to carry /move 28st people, yet the airport baggage handlers refused my suitcase cos it was too heavy and contravened their health and safety(and was nowhere near that weight!)....I say make em swap jobs, then I can bring a decent amount of duty free back next time.....
 
#18
The_Goon said:
If you mean you expect another fireman strike over this, it almost certainly couldn't happen. Green goddesses have almost all been sold off, and the Army isn't trained to operate the fire engines used by firemen these days!

Anyway, I still say let the fat feckers burn - they've got themselves into a bad situation, FFS...
A short while ago I was dragged (kicking and screaming) to the fire training college (can't remember the name of the place now) which has awesome facilities. There the training was on older civilian appliances (they don't half get upset when you call them fire engines/trucks) without a green or yellow goddess in sight.
I imagine that everyone we trained will now be somewhere far warmer and unavailble for another op fiasco.
 

Alsacien

MIA
Moderator
#19
theoriginalphantom said:
The_Goon said:
If you mean you expect another fireman strike over this, it almost certainly couldn't happen. Green goddesses have almost all been sold off, and the Army isn't trained to operate the fire engines used by firemen these days!

Anyway, I still say let the fat feckers burn - they've got themselves into a bad situation, FFS...
A short while ago I was dragged (kicking and screaming) to the fire training college (can't remember the name of the place now) which has awesome facilities. There the training was on older civilian appliances (they don't half get upset when you call them fire engines/trucks) without a green or yellow goddess in sight.
I imagine that everyone we trained will now be somewhere far warmer and unavailble for another op fiasco.
Most people think a civilian appliance is a washing machine.....
 
#20
Alsacien said:
theoriginalphantom said:
The_Goon said:
If you mean you expect another fireman strike over this, it almost certainly couldn't happen. Green goddesses have almost all been sold off, and the Army isn't trained to operate the fire engines used by firemen these days!

Anyway, I still say let the fat feckers burn - they've got themselves into a bad situation, FFS...
A short while ago I was dragged (kicking and screaming) to the fire training college (can't remember the name of the place now) which has awesome facilities. There the training was on older civilian appliances (they don't half get upset when you call them fire engines/trucks) without a green or yellow goddess in sight.
I imagine that everyone we trained will now be somewhere far warmer and unavailble for another op fiasco.
Most people think a civilian appliance is a washing machine.....
well they are heavy, unweidly, noisy and get water everywhere.
 

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