Just say that someone had accidently ripped up and then used their census form to light a garden bonfire. Then say that that same person sees on their telly that the Census Police are starting to visit the homes of people who had "forgotten" to return their forms,then be interviewed under caution,to ascertain as to why that person had not returned their form. Is their any legal steps such a person could take to avoid the £1000 fine? Clearly ball pein hammers,locking in cellars etc etc,whilst amusing,is going a wee bit too far. Any top tips?