2011 Census

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, May 4, 2011.

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  1. Just say that someone had accidently ripped up and then used their census form to light a garden bonfire.
    Then say that that same person sees on their telly that the Census Police are starting to visit the homes of people who had "forgotten" to return their forms,then be interviewed under caution,to ascertain as to why that person had not returned their form.
    Is their any legal steps such a person could take to avoid the £1000 fine?

    Clearly ball pein hammers,locking in cellars etc etc,whilst amusing,is going a wee bit too far.
    Any top tips?
  2. Tell them it must have been lost in the post....... Royal Mail, clumsy bastards.
  3. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    The person could just sit tight and tell them to fuck off when they come to the door. If the last census is any indicator, you've got a 0.00126 percent chance of being prosecuted.
  4. What he said. The census people don't have any right of entry or extra powers. You could even hand them a notice "revoking the implied right of consent to knock on my front door" if you're feeling a bit angry. And no, I'm not taking the piss this time!
  5. I've a funny feeling they may prosecute more people this time. Possibly to claw back some money. Or maybe I'm just talking crap.
  6. Remind them under Religion you answered "Jedi Knight" and the dark side of the force must have intercepted the form
  7. It was you you did it never mind, just tell them the dog eat it
  8. Thanks everyone.

    Except Dragstrip obviously.
  9. We had the Census Police turn up asking why we'd not returned the form. Mrs MB replied that we had and that I'd mailed it.

    The Census Policeperson then said "Well, we don't have a response for No 9", to which Mrs MB replied "Well, this is No 8, that's what this means..." pointing at the door number...
  10. Remember, the census is being run by Crapita who do not have a clue what they are doing, there is currently a 600,000 plus backlog of unprocessed forms. So if anyone turns up at your door tell them to come back when they have cleared that.

    Alternatively Old Holborn has this form

    Old Holborn: The Knock at the Door
  11. A number of my neighbours have not sent back/filled in their census forms. I have had several Jobsworths knocking on my door asking about them. Me, being a good citizen has sent my form back. I usually spin the census Jobsworth something like, that my neighbours are at work, gone on holiday, pimping whores, working the black economy, soldiers of fortune etcetera. It keeps them happy and no doubt they will be back rousting the neighbours again. But do I care... Nay, nay I don't. As long as I don't get a summons through the letter box..... I couldn't care less.....
  12. You are Mr I Grumbles, and I etc etc.............
  13. I got three Census forms to my address all with slight changes to the postcode, filled in the correct one and sent the other 2 back saying they were incorrect addresses, then got reminders, then got a letter saying fun police will be around then got another 2 letters today.... Each time I duly sent them back with a not explaining the error or their ways. Today I had enough, and wrote a letter again explaining the error of their ways and gave the dates of my previous communication with them, stating that any further letters promising threatening action or a visit by anyone threatening legal action would be viewed as exactly that... threatening and I would take them to court for harassment.

    Hopefully Crapita will find enough will to update their computer systems..