The missus is a product manager for a luxury tour operator and once in a while she gets the 'emergency' phone for a weekend. She gets these sort of dullards phoning up all the time. My personal favourites are the woman who had flown all the way to China thinking that needing a visa meant having the right credit card and the woman who sued the company because she couldn't get on a horse due to her obesity.
I remember our local postmistress being gobsmacked because her daughter had had issues with her passport when flying out to Paphos.
I casually asked whether she'd got a second one because the first would have been tainted by all her trips to see Grannie in Northern Cyprus, and got blank looks all round. They had no idea that the land was the subject of dispute...
Mrs B used to work in large London hotels and has many similar examples of staggering human stupidity, greed, ignorance and plain bad luck
My favourite is the mega wedding feast where the bride & groom turn up in a coach drawn by white horses causing utter traffic chaos in the process. A band of musicians rush to the coach & serenade them into the hotel.
They waft into the vast and lavishly decorated banqueting suite to greet the many hundreds of guests. At which point the bride froze, burst into tears and ran off because the floral arrangements were "wrong."
Daddy, having dished a fortune in getting idiot daughter off his hands, then tried to sue for damages. Laughed out of court but a huge waste of time for all concerned.
We went into an independent travel agents last year and the young (slightly chavvy) assistant was going throuh the benefits of an apartment complex we particulary liked when he siad they'll be no Top 'n' tails. he looked slightly puzzled and muttered something about top hats and morning dress, so I asked him if I it was alright if I took my tuxedo instead. He said he would have to consult his supervisor. He had a chat with his boss and then the boss shot me one of those 'Don't take the piss of the needy' looks. The lad came back and said it would be OK.
I burst out laughing and got the obligitory elbow from the wife.
Nethetrtheless we didn't book and he's now in my top 10.
From the Scotsman newpaper
Questions at Edinburgh Tourist Information.
TOP TEN REMARKS
1.What time is the One O'Clock Gun?
2. Is the moon I see in New Zealand the same moon I see in Scotland?
3. When is the Regimental Ratatoullie? (referring to the Military Tattoo)
4. Isn't it convenient how they built the Castle so close to the train station!
5. An American gentleman asked: "Isn't there, like, a massive oil refinery at the top of England?"
6. I'd like to visit the Royal Yacht Britannia. What time does the cruise begin?
7. Can I use the stamps I bought in Lancaster to send postcards from Scotland?
8. How often does the Castle go on the market?
9. An older American couple once asked staff to bless them.
10. Which bus will take me to the top of Arthur's Seat and where is the chair itself?