20 ridiculously stupid people


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The missus is a product manager for a luxury tour operator and once in a while she gets the 'emergency' phone for a weekend. She gets these sort of dullards phoning up all the time. My personal favourites are the woman who had flown all the way to China thinking that needing a visa meant having the right credit card and the woman who sued the company because she couldn't get on a horse due to her obesity.
Yep! I too was disgusted when I was posted to Germany - it was full of Foreigners who couldnt speak English..... and they all drove on the wrong side of the road..... 8O

...and they said I couldn't pee in a shop deoorways after a gut full of ale...


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uncle_vanya said:
Yep! I too was disgusted when I was posted to Germany - it was full of Foreigners who couldnt speak English..... and they all drove on the wrong side of the road..... 8O

...and they said I couldn't pee in a shop deoorways after a gut full of ale...
Bastards, don't they know if it wasn't for us they would all be speaking German?!

Oh wait........shit.
Surely they sell egg and chips in Goa

Why do these people bother going anywhere other than Blackpool ??


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I remember our local postmistress being gobsmacked because her daughter had had issues with her passport when flying out to Paphos.

I casually asked whether she'd got a second one because the first would have been tainted by all her trips to see Grannie in Northern Cyprus, and got blank looks all round. They had no idea that the land was the subject of dispute...
"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
Farking superb! Those dirty foreigners and their non-pure biscuits...

However, this is going into my email sig. block

"No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."
I've often suggested that we need an exam before people can travel overseas, to stop us being embarrased by dipsticks like these.

My wife has a better idea - an exam before they are let back in....
Mrs B used to work in large London hotels and has many similar examples of staggering human stupidity, greed, ignorance and plain bad luck

My favourite is the mega wedding feast where the bride & groom turn up in a coach drawn by white horses causing utter traffic chaos in the process. A band of musicians rush to the coach & serenade them into the hotel.

They waft into the vast and lavishly decorated banqueting suite to greet the many hundreds of guests. At which point the bride froze, burst into tears and ran off because the floral arrangements were "wrong."

Daddy, having dished a fortune in getting idiot daughter off his hands, then tried to sue for damages. Laughed out of court but a huge waste of time for all concerned.
We went into an independent travel agents last year and the young (slightly chavvy) assistant was going throuh the benefits of an apartment complex we particulary liked when he siad they'll be no Top 'n' tails. he looked slightly puzzled and muttered something about top hats and morning dress, so I asked him if I it was alright if I took my tuxedo instead. He said he would have to consult his supervisor. He had a chat with his boss and then the boss shot me one of those 'Don't take the piss of the needy' looks. The lad came back and said it would be OK.

I burst out laughing and got the obligitory elbow from the wife.

Nethetrtheless we didn't book and he's now in my top 10.
the_matelot said:
"It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."
Oh ffs.... :roll:
The Mongs probably don't know where Jamaica is. 8O
From the Scotsman newpaper
Questions at Edinburgh Tourist Information.

1.What time is the One O'Clock Gun?
2. Is the moon I see in New Zealand the same moon I see in Scotland?
3. When is the Regimental Ratatoullie? (referring to the Military Tattoo)
4. Isn't it convenient how they built the Castle so close to the train station!
5. An American gentleman asked: "Isn't there, like, a massive oil refinery at the top of England?"
6. I'd like to visit the Royal Yacht Britannia. What time does the cruise begin?
7. Can I use the stamps I bought in Lancaster to send postcards from Scotland?
8. How often does the Castle go on the market?
9. An older American couple once asked staff to bless them.
10. Which bus will take me to the top of Arthur's Seat and where is the chair itself?

Yank tourist to tour guide: Why do you get the beeping sound when the green man shows at the pedestrian crossings?

Tour Guide: That's to let blind people know when the lights have changed!

Yank: What? They let blind people drive over here?

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