14 Things 4 Men 2 Do In Asda When They Are Bored!

#1
01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys
when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5
minute intervals.

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the
floor leading to the ladies toilet.

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk
and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding Department.

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme fromMission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the fetal position and scream " OH NO! It's those voices again!!!"

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"
 
#5
sorry for your keyboard!!
 
#10
zipit said:
CNUT
That was a new keyboard only yesterday.
You are lying!

It wasn't a new keyboard, and if it was its not been broken has it?

Put it in your mouth and let passers by hit you with canoe paddles
 
#11
minister_doh_nut said:
zipit said:
CNUT
That was a new keyboard only yesterday.
You are lying!

It wasn't a new keyboard, and if it was its not been broken has it?

Put it in your mouth and let passers by hit you with canoe paddles
:D :D :D :D ROFLMAO

There is nothing funnier than an email with a list of things, especially one full of Americanisms. I'm just hoping to fcuk that the next one is one about why computers are like women or something. I'm going down the pub later and I need something to pretend that I made up.
 
#12
convoy_cock said:
You cnut, thats a new monitor you owe me :D :D :D :D :D :D

I'm also off down the pub, when I returned really really drunk I hope there are lots of threads about my five favourite songs or my list of three most popular motorcycle carburetters

:D :D :D If I add a couple more it will funny it up?
 
#14
I found it so funny i pissed all over my monitor, mouse, keyboard, tower and in my fridge you owe me new ones you little tinker rotflmaolololol :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D .

And a little bit in my pants too.
 

Fugly

ADC
DirtyBAT
#15
Coffee all over the keyboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not because any of this is amusing, i'm just a clumsy fucker.
 
#16
Men only go shopping for one reason!, to cruise the aisles and use their children as chick magnets...you know it's true.. :twisted:
 
#17
BuztyBabe said:
Men only go shopping for one reason!, to cruise the aisles and use their children as chick magnets...you know it's true.. :twisted:
I use a lassoo as a chick magnet and the threat of a stanley blade.

I go shopping to buy food / clothes / gadgets and Magners... so your post is flawed and crap...... may I suggest mangling your head?
 
#18
minister_doh_nut said:
BuztyBabe said:
Men only go shopping for one reason!, to cruise the aisles and use their children as chick magnets...you know it's true.. :twisted:
I use a lassoo as a chick magnet and the threat of a stanley blade.

I go shopping to buy food / clothes / gadgets and Magners... so your post is flawed and crap...... may I suggest mangling your head?

mmmmmm you say the sexiest things........you must have a queue as long as your dick.
 
#19
I wait in the cold food section so I can see the nipples on the women in skimpy tops....lush
 
#20
mac5543 said:
I wait in the cold food section so I can see the nipples on the women in skimpy tops....lush
i agree, now the warm weather is here i am blessed with the fact that the cold aisles are the first aisle on entry. guaranteed instant nipple reaction. Mind you, some of those old birds need to get a life, a nipple profile at belly button level is NOT nice
 

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