11ereife Whats the best blag you have done????

#1
for the not so enlightened ones amongst you a story that is better than the one you have told. EG if you have cut your hand, then the other bloke will have cut his hand off.

this is the peson who will always try to get one better than you!
 
#4
My mate only has a 9 inch cock, but mine's 11 :roll:

(I have a fealing this thread will be in the ARRSE hole before sun down)

Bone thread - really bone thread.
 
#6
Trevelez said:
I think he means that if someone goes to Tenerife someone goes one better, i.e. Elevenerife, but I could be wrong
So Black Catting then.

I don't think I have ever had a meeting with a Johnnny Two Sheds that was exciting enough to warrant preserving for posterity on Harry t'internet.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#7
People show me their scars, I show them a badly ripped-up left palm where a 9 milly round struck it on patrol in Omagh in 76, severing the flexor tendon to the index finger and requiring that the finger be stitched to the base of the thumb (stitch holes still clearly visible) until the tendon healed. After six months of physiotherapy, it still doesn't straighten and when it's very cold, the finger curls up toward the thumb. Always ends the discussion on scars.

In fact in 73 I was working behind a bar, slipped on a wet patch and caught a glass as I fell. Otherwise it's all gospel.

Needless to say, the reply is always, "Did you really?" and my response id "No you soft twaaaaaaaaaaaat," and tell them the truth. Winds them up every time.
 
#8
I've got a scar on my thumb which occured when I deflected an AK47 round with it to save a comrades life. In reality I sliced my thumb open sharpening a knife, What a gaylord!!
 
#9
Similar story to the lacerated hand from the 9-mil.

Got a lovely scar on the edge of my right hand (11 stitches) that i enjoy telling any body who's interested that i held it up to my face whilst somebody tried to stab me (obviously hard as f*ck) and then grabbed the knife off them with the other.....

Truth: Tried to swing for a Civvy who threw his chips at me on the p*ss, missed and punched straight through a window. Good job, otherwise i'd have kicked his t*ts in................................(probably) :eek:
 
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