10 most romantic things...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Civvy Scum, Aug 22, 2013.

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  1. ...to do for a woman.

    Half listening to the radio on the way home tonight, the bloke was waffling on about some survey about the 10 most romantic things a bloke could do for a woman. The two I heard were putting down the bog seat lid and a surprise bunch of flowers.

    Pfft, what a load of shite.

    What would be the ARRSE top 10 romantic things. Here's the first three, in your own time add to the list.

    1) Lubing up before potting the brown.

    2) Not wiping it on the curtains.

    3) Not putting black nasty over her eyes so show can watch you enjoy yourself.
  2. 4. Use cheese wire instead of that old bit of rope you used on the hooker in Ipswich
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  3. 5) Making sure that the "Dutch Oven" isn't full CBRN level.
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  4. Not using a freshly hawked up and spat dockers omelette as lube.
  5. Only give her one black eye.

    She'll appreciate still being able to wash the dishes with clear(ish) vision.
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  6. Make the chain a foot shorter!
  7. Leave the key to the handcuffs.
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  8. Tell them you're gay, they love that.

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
  9. Write " I love you" in the sprayed pebble dashed shite stain in the bogs from last nights curry and Stella combo.

    Ps oi you birds in mums net, if your kids are fat then you are bad, bad mothers!
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  10. starting a gash thread on Arrse in her honour
  11. Tell her your real name.
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  12. Fuck her brains loose.

    FORMER_FYRDMAN LE Book Reviewer

    Pretend that doing something romantic has any sort of priority with you?
    • Like Like x 1
  14. Share your time equally between her and Maddie..............
  15. Come home from work, instead of going anywhere else. And I mean anywhere .

    Sent from beyond the grave using the Force.