10 most romantic things...

...to do for a woman.

Half listening to the radio on the way home tonight, the bloke was waffling on about some survey about the 10 most romantic things a bloke could do for a woman. The two I heard were putting down the bog seat lid and a surprise bunch of flowers.

Pfft, what a load of shite.

What would be the ARRSE top 10 romantic things. Here's the first three, in your own time add to the list.

1) Lubing up before potting the brown.

2) Not wiping it on the curtains.

3) Not putting black nasty over her eyes so show can watch you enjoy yourself.


Book Reviewer
5) Making sure that the "Dutch Oven" isn't full CBRN level.
Only give her one black eye.

She'll appreciate still being able to wash the dishes with clear(ish) vision.
Make the chain a foot shorter!
Leave the key to the handcuffs.
Write " I love you" in the sprayed pebble dashed shite stain in the bogs from last nights curry and Stella combo.

Ps oi you birds in mums net, if your kids are fat then you are bad, bad mothers!
Tell her your real name.


Book Reviewer
Pretend that doing something romantic has any sort of priority with you?


I once drove a 95 mile round trip to deliver a Burger king veggie meal to ex when she was hungover from xmas party.
I chapped, door handed it to her and left. Romantic or what?

Ah, but i was young and in love, shame it wasnt reciprocated!!
The most romantic gift I have ever been given was a wing mirror for a Rover 216!
I gave the then girlfriend a packet of Bisto cos she kept wittering on about how nice it was. I did it on Valentines Day for extra romanticism, wrapped as well.
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