007 after cutbacks

#1
I was having an idle moment at work earlier and into my normal empty head a rather random thought occured...

How would government cutbacks affect James Bond?

Evil megalomaniac psychos can only be seen to if their lair is within easy travelling distance of the Home Counties?

Had to P/X the Aston Martin but got a great deal on a 1993 VW Golf, no machine guns or rocket launchers in the headlights but we have fitted a CD player and the fag lighter works now

Q got snapped up for a now vacant post at Apple but we've managed to get a couple of Kwik Fit fitters and an apprentice in to do all the work




Any other ideas?

Or anyone else have any completely random thoughts?
 
#5
Miss Moneypenny is now Miss Penny
 
T

trowel

Guest
#6
Bond now drinks Carlsberg and smokes Old Holborn rollups. His suits come from Primark and his women from Essex.
 
#9
Oddjob is now simply Odd due to redundancy.
 
#10
but we have fitted a CD player and the fag lighter works now
Nooo, the Aston (being a government vehicle), now displays an "It is illegal to smoke in this workplace" sticker.

His Walther PPK has been replaced by a BB gun from an airsoft shop.
Wrong again. SIS has now gone for the cheapest option & Bond totes an SA80.
 
#11
The film production company is forced to cut costs so hires cheaper cameras (no HD Mr Bond), unfortunately they already bought HD film so have to send the cameras that they already paid for back and hire the HD cameras at short notice for a premium.
 
#13
His Walther PPK sold off and replaced by a BAE designed replacement that will be late, over budget and suffers constant stoppages. Walther will be brought in at great expense to fix the new pistol. A suppressor will not be included in the initial design process but rather as a hasty after thought. It will not be fit for the task.

In years to come bond will sit around on the internet talking to the other old and bold double-O's talking about how the PPK was "a real mans pistol" and how agents were harder in their day :-D
 
#14
The film production company is forced to cut costs so hires cheaper cameras (no HD Mr Bond), unfortunately they already bought HD film so have to send the cameras that they already paid for back and hire the HD cameras at short notice for a premium.
Only if the MOD are the production company.
 
#17
Own brand vodka and gin in the martini?

or

'Doctor No - at least, not without a receipt'
'From Reading with Love'
'You only live once'
'On Her Majesty's Social Security'
'Gold-plated finger' (insert as appropriate for 'The Man with the Golden Gun' and 'Goldeneye')
'Cubic Zirconia are Forever'
'Live and let die - and preferably sooner, so that the pension payouts are reduced'
'Diet another Day'

Etc, etc, etc...
 
#18
And the plot of Casino Royale now takes place in the Paddy Power bookies with Bond swapping his trois millions cinq cent mille francs on rouge for a 10p EW yankee at Haydock.
 
#19
Pussy Galore is now moggy
 

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