007 after cutbacks

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by mac_uk, Oct 31, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I was having an idle moment at work earlier and into my normal empty head a rather random thought occured...

    How would government cutbacks affect James Bond?

    Evil megalomaniac psychos can only be seen to if their lair is within easy travelling distance of the Home Counties?

    Had to P/X the Aston Martin but got a great deal on a 1993 VW Golf, no machine guns or rocket launchers in the headlights but we have fitted a CD player and the fag lighter works now

    Q got snapped up for a now vacant post at Apple but we've managed to get a couple of Kwik Fit fitters and an apprentice in to do all the work

    Any other ideas?

    Or anyone else have any completely random thoughts?
  2. Tulips.
  3. M is now m.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. James Bonds new love interest has to resort to advertising dodgy old dating sites.

    View attachment 54237
    • Like Like x 4
  5. HHH

    HHH LE

    Miss Moneypenny is now Miss Penny
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Bond now drinks Carlsberg and smokes Old Holborn rollups. His suits come from Primark and his women from Essex.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. and is sponsored by Brighthouse.
  8. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    His Walther PPK has been replaced by a BB gun from an airsoft shop & he now flies Ryan Air..
  9. Oddjob is now simply Odd due to redundancy.
    • Like Like x 2
  10. Nooo, the Aston (being a government vehicle), now displays an "It is illegal to smoke in this workplace" sticker.

    Wrong again. SIS has now gone for the cheapest option & Bond totes an SA80.
    • Like Like x 2
  11. The film production company is forced to cut costs so hires cheaper cameras (no HD Mr Bond), unfortunately they already bought HD film so have to send the cameras that they already paid for back and hire the HD cameras at short notice for a premium.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. He is now 0.
  13. His Walther PPK sold off and replaced by a BAE designed replacement that will be late, over budget and suffers constant stoppages. Walther will be brought in at great expense to fix the new pistol. A suppressor will not be included in the initial design process but rather as a hasty after thought. It will not be fit for the task.

    In years to come bond will sit around on the internet talking to the other old and bold double-O's talking about how the PPK was "a real mans pistol" and how agents were harder in their day :-D
    • Like Like x 2
  14. Only if the MOD are the production company.
  15. Omega now swapped out for a Swatch divers watch.

    edit: With re-issued G10 strap.