£5m for Ex Service personnel to set up their own business

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by meridian, Dec 9, 2009.

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  1. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    The chancellor in his pre budget report has signalled that there will be £5m fund set up for Ex Service personnel to set up their own business.


    In line with the para baiting that seems to be a running theme at the minute how about

    Pegasus Painters and Decorators

    or to balance up the score

    Sky Blue Child Minding and Photography
  2. Jeeez...not more ex squaddie plumbers/spakies...sorry, typo...meant sparky's..how are we 'Poles' meant to make a living with these 'Gubinment' subsidised blacklegs, is'nt there a EU law against this sort of thing.. :)
  3. This is a golden opportunity to set up the Arrsewater merchant ship protection business that's been discussed so many times.

    A manly bunch of chain smoking ex-squaddies will board your LPG carrier as it approaches the Somalian coast and stand ready to repel boarders.

    Best of all, we could point out to the Guardian, the Equality Commission and anybody else we can think of that the Labour government is effectively funding mercenaries to shoot at black people in the third world.
  4. More like this :lol: :lol:

    Attached Files:

  5. A similar idea was floated a while ago. A cruise ship full of wealthy Russians paying at least $5k each would sail slowly up and down the coast of Somalia.

    Inevitably, the pirates would attack, unable to resist all of those Rolexes and Amex platinum cards.

    At this point, the 500+ passengers would each be offered their choice of weapons with which to engage and kill the pirates. Choice would be dependent on ticket type:-

    1st Class : SLR, GPMG, Bofors Gun, Napalm fuelled M9 flamethrower

    2nd Class : M16, SMG, Phosphorous grenade

    3rd Class : 12 Bore shotgun, Browning Hi-Power, McDonalds apple pie (hotter than the sun's core)

    Steerage : SA80
  6. 5 mill? could buy HMS Alfriston and line the decks with claymore mines. sail into dodgy waters get boarded and....film for youtube.
  7. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Not a bad idea, but it needs to be combined with another:

    Lease a container ship with sufficient accommodation for a few 'shoot 'em up' guests to pay the charterage, but the main goal is slightly different.

    Once clear of Blackbeard's Waters we go to Dubai, and nick/load all the exec saloons that have been dumped by those fleeing from the downfall of Capitalism.

    Swap out the passengers for a new lot, and then set sail for a friendly port in Europe where the authorities are not too fussy about the paperwork associated with automobile ownership. Odessa is somewhere that I've always fancied visiting!

    Repeat until no cars are left, or vary this theme by exporting junk plastic to China.
  8. No worries. They're not offering napalm so we'll have the psychopath market cornered.

    Speaking of napalm, when did the UK stop using the stuff? I think the Fleet Air Arm took napalm bombs to the Falklands. Are our stocks still in date? Does napalm have an expiry date?

    Having just seen the pre-budget report, our government is stupid enough to pay us to take napalm off their hands for 'environmentally friendly disposal', while Russian psycho gangstas pay us to, errm, dispose of it by lifting 3rd world pirates out of poverty.

    Now that's what I call capitalism.
  9. Has any more been head about this or has it been quietly swept under the carpet?
  10. BTTT
  11. Ah..fug it. Lets just drop chavs and spacs. Soon bring a nation to its knees.
  12. So the question is if you slot a chap in international waters would it be illegal if its not how mutch would a septic pay for the pleasure of this after all they are slightly mad about guns, could be a good earner.
  13. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    MDN's Portugese Childminding Service.
  14. AM Sir,
    That time when some clown nicked ..the wheel. I and probably 8 million other sad fecks on here sorely needed that link. Shat me self laughing.
    Almost as good as when we spiked Princess Di.s driver with crystal meth...erm.