£200 roof tax - rip off Britain

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by FARMBOY, May 11, 2007.

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  1. I live in a flat in a converted Victorian House. There are three flats in the house and like good little joint free holders we all got together one day and decided that the roof needs doing. I believe this is quite normal behavior and having a few slates moved around and some plastic guttering added is hardly going to change the face of the neighbourhood.

    Or so I thought.

    The roof was nearing completion and work then had to cease. Why? Lambeth now charge £200 for a "roof certificate" or some such nonsense. I thought mending a roof was mending a roof and on a privately owned property was no business of the councils. This surely is not a planning issue?

    Anyway we had to pay the £200 pounds or work could not continue. I am boiling. EVERYWHERE WE TURN WE ARE BEING TAXED OR F*CKED OVER!
  2. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Wow, that's a new one.

    Best get yourself a builder who doesn't work with the council next time.

    If they don't know the roof has been re-laid, you won't need a certificate.

    What a crock of sh1te!
  3. Biped, that's just the thing the builders we chose do not work for the council. The coucil actually employ someone to go round checking - a bit like the TV detector van!!

    What really annoys me is that the council have allowed the water contractors to park their plant in the road for free for months even though the work finished in our area in January!

    We are slowly being boiled Biped, the arrogance of these people who spend all our council tax, run out of money and have to think of something else to cover the shortfall.

    Roof Tax. My question now is what is next? Why don't we just hand all our pay in and just get given food and beer vouchers? Take the lot Tony you REALLy seem to know what your doing.

    Rant Out!
  4. I'm really curious as to what authority they have to charge you for this.
  5. Air tax, it's about the only thing left that labour haven't charged us for yet....

    Lets see, about 10p per hour when awake, rebate for sleeping and 20p per hour when exercising. Should give His Tonyness, his heirs and successors some extra cash to waste on another outreach and integration programme for ginger muslim lesbians or some such other crap......
  6. It is the new Building Regulations.

    When after April 2006 a roof (flat or pitched) is replaced the new roof has to conform to a minimum insulation standards and that requires certification. And you must pay for that.

    Same with electrical work. Last year we had our kitchen done and effectively had the house rewired in the process. Cost an extra £600 for the Inspection, Report and Certificates.

    These kind of Certificates are really important when you come to sell, even down to the "Fenestration Certificates" you get if new windows are fitted and which many people lose or chuck out because it looks like meaningless b0ll0cks.

    If you do not have the ever increasing number of certificates when time to sell and move on then expect to have demands for retrospective certification. financial indemnities & price reductions laid on you.

    Welcome to the Intruder State
  7. Nice one, you had to go giving them ideas didn't you.

    I can just picture the little treasury scrote now, running into Brown's office shouting "You'll never guess what the ARRSE'rs have come up with now Guv!!!"
  8. All arrsers are hereby invited to emigrate to Australia. I will sponsor as many of you as I can and sort out some mates to sponsor the rest. I look forward to the p1ss up.
  9. Ex Stab - apparenty it is some new sub set of the building regs, we are challenging it as we were just fixing the roof and not changing the structure or adding. I always thought fixing things on a building was the owners responsibility. What next a pointing charge?

    They have given us a shiny certificate to say that Lambeth have approved our new roof. We have just put some new shrubs in the back garden and I would very much like a certificate from Lambeth to say that the Peoples Republic approves of the garden too. What about good citizen badges (I have told them on more than one occasion that I am a subject not a citizen, however I think this action may now have me blacklisted as an enemy of the borough)
  10. Bloody hell! I am about to overhaul the roof of Litotes' Manor and I didn't know about that. I was going to improve the insulation as part of the work - but that was because I wanted to do the work - not because of some law.

    So fecked off that I might not now bother!

  11. Do it! Ask for a certificate of Shrubbery!. When they can't find one insist. Say you can't sell your property without one. Pick on one of the bastards and drive them to a nervous breakdown with continous demands.

    And then ask for a Fish licence.
  12. Ex Stab you are a genius mate!! I'm going to do it, you are right they are so disorganised at Lambeth they are bound to think there actually is a "garden certificate" Stand by for the admin vortex! Even better should I send a letter in with a post dated cheque for 20p in payment for the certificate - if they cash it can they be charged with fraud? OHHHHH I'm in a little fantasy world now.....
  13. The Socialist Peoples Republic of Lambeth.

    Why not re-roof your house with outreach workers, failed asylum seekers and dyslexic gwaar lesbian dwarves, topped with an insulating layer of tofu mixed with cappuccino?

    You might get a grant.
  14. Did you clock the video link:

    Observe the technique.

    Sending a cheque in is a blinding idea.
  15. I think there may be funding available for that. What if I also called it the "Peace Roof Project" and allowed Lambeth to dawb messages of peace and love so that all those flying into London could see that Lambeth are "like really against all that scary war type stuff maaaaan"

    The Peace roof project - it's got to be worth a £500,000 grant.