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Zambia

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A formerly British TPLAC in southern Africa known as Northern Rhodesia prior to its independence in the sixties.

Geography

Landlocked between Angola, The Congo, Malawi, Tanzania, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Namibia, Uncle Tom Cobbleigh and All.

Main Exports

  • Copper
  • HIV
  • Debt


History

Lots of stuff happened before whitey arrived; but it only happened to the people who lived there, so it wasn't until David Livingstone turned up that anyone else started to care.

A bit later on Cecil Rhodes did his usual "Cultural Inclusivity" and "Diversity" touchy-feely thing and took over; after all, the natives hardly needed those diamonds, did they?

After that, the country stayed ours until the early sixties when we basically handed it on a plate to Kenneth Kaunda who then ran it as a single party dictatorship for 25 years, resulting in crushing poverty for all (except him, strangely). But at least it's their own independent poverty, not imposed on them by some colonial masters.