Where we met Hamish and played as members of Rambo Slayers
Flipper_T_Rox had this to say about this Era:
In the early days of the time of Jeker, it came to pass that the wandering tribe of ARRSE were led by their King to a lush and verdent garden. This garden was in a valley, teeming with ripe fruits, green vegetation and small creatures, all of which tasted divine and melted in the mouth. And the people of ARRSE were greatly enamoured of this garden, and said "Come, let us take hold of this fine and pleasant land, and here establish a Kingdom where all who have served the divine being Lizii, and grown old and weary of knee in that service, may come to find peace. Thus they established a temple, at the place which came to be known as Cakenarrse, and here made an offering to the gods of Fantalia. The gods, being greatly pleased with their sacrifices, were minded to grant this land to them, and let it be know to all that this place was to henceforth be known as Arrseonia, and a divine covenant was made that the children of ARRSE would be forever tied to this place, and it to them.
Yet there were others, small groups of lesser tribesm who envied the Arrsonians their garden, who came to the gates and said "Oh fortunate children of ARRSE. We are men of The Republic. We see that you have by your efforts won a safe home and many resources, yet we have naught. We would come into your garden, and share its many delights with you, and in return we pledge to help protect it from any others who may come this way, and being envious of your garden, wish to wrest it from you. And there was much talk at these fine words. Some said that the strangers should be turned away from the garden, that they might continue on their way and leave Arrseonia to those whom the gods loved. But others, being more generous in spirit and trust, were minded to allow the strangers through the gates and into the garden. The strangers, being much delighted, fell upon the garden with great vigour, building many encampments and temples of their own. And wheresoe'er their encampments appeared, the forests were stripped of their trees, the hills were rent asunder and the rivers and the fields were plundered.
And the children of ARRSE were much saddened to see what had become of their garden, and wondered how they were to survive. Yet the gods had been generous to them, and it was in their nature to be welcoming of guests, so they tightened their belts, and when food was short they ate their horses, and smiled whilst they did so. And seeing their neighbours growing fat and moving across the face of the valley - yea, even as a plague of locusts - they said "Hey ho, life's a *beep*", and as was their wont in times of hardship, steeped shredded leaves in boiling water to make a pleasing beverage.
After a short while, it came to pass that a tribe who dwelled to the south of the river that bordered the garden, saw the beauty and wealth that was within, and coveted it. They said to themselves, we shall take this garden, and put to the sword all who currently dwell therein, that we may possess its bountiful gifts. And thus it came to pass that vast armies moved towards Arrseonia with war in thir hearts. And the Arrseonians, being by tradition a martial tribe, responded in kind. Led by their wise and noble King, they fought many hard battles gainst the foe, and being favoured by the gods, were successful in keeping the foeat bay. Yet more enemies came, and yea, more behind them, and these enemies used dark powers to blight the Arrseonians, and to cause fire to rain down upon them from on high. Yet still the men of ARRSE held firm, and did not buckle before the tide.
They turned thir faces unto their neighbours and said "Friends, where art thou in our hour of tribulation ? We are suffering and have need if your succour. We have shewn you great hospitality, and would have you honour your pledge to help us defend the garden" And there was much in the way of shirt rending and teeth gnashing from the men of The Republic, and a great wail went up from them. "Oh men of ARRSE, we feel your pain, and wish we could offer help, but we are poor and weak, and our feet are flat, and the cat hath just whelped, and yea, we need to cleanse our hair for it art a Tuesday" And they turned theur faces from the battle, and got back to gaining wealth and occupying land.
The Arrseonians were greatly dismayed by this, but battle had been enjoined and the foe had yet to be vanquished, so they girded their loins, and - fixing their bayonets - didst close with their enemies and destroy them. Then they built large gates to block entry to all who wouldst do them harm, and prayed to the gods to bless them, that they might protect the garden. And the gods, being much impressed by the spirit of the Arrseonians, were minded to help them. And a new land was opened to the south of the garden, which the gods were pleased to grant unto the tribe of ARRSE, that they might be able to expand and grow.
Yet this new area was also coveted by the warlike tribe that had previously fought for the garden, and the people of ARRSE found themselves once more in battle. And they turned once more to the Republic and said "Cousins, we art on our chinstraps here. You are now fat and sleek, and possess many powerful armies. We beseech thee, honour thy pledge and come to our aid." And the Republic sent their powerful armies to the gates of the garden, and said "Open thou thy gates, we wish to come South". And there was much rejoicing in the camps of ARRSE, and the gates were flung open, and the great armies of the Republic marched into the new lands, with pennants fluttering and breastplates gleaming. Whereupon they immediately began to build cities and walls, and to plunder the landscape. And the Arrseonians said unto them "Oy, thou art supposed to be helping us", and The Republicans replied "Oh woe, we wouldst like to very much, but alas we have not two gold pieces to rub together, and our tea is ready, and the man is coming to fix the heating, so we must stay in. Good luck though." And their great armies stayed within their great cities and played with themselves.
Once more, the Arrseonians were left to drive back the invader, but it cost them greatly, and their once proud armies limped into cities to sew back on their arms and legs and prepare for one last big push. Yet when they charged the gates of Kakrea they met near on half a million men who garrisoned that forbidding city, and were rained on by fire once more. And they retreated into their cities to await the end. Yet when the hordes of Legacy left Kakrea and swept into the city, they broke like floodwaters around the cities of the arrseonians and began to assault the flacid belly of the corrupt Republic with much vigour.
And those who cleaved unto the Republic didst turn to the Arrsonians and say "Brothers, where art thou, in our hour of tribulation ? We are suffering greatly and have need if your succour." Yet the men of Arrse were tired and weary, yea unto the point of death, being spent after their countless days of battle with the foe, and were unable to assist their neighbours. And they said "Alas, we have no men, and our horses have all gone into the pot. Good luck though." And there was a great wailing went up from the Republic who began to talk of broken pledges as they had no shame, nor sense of irony.
And Legacy said unto ARRSE, "You have fought well and hard, and have been as a thorn in our side, and we would have peace with you, but not with the parasites who dwell amongst you." And the men of ARRSE considered, and said "This is a good peace, and well made, and both shall prosper from it, but we say unto you, we shall have no part in attacking the men of The Republic, for we art bound by pledge not to do so. You shall have no help from us in that department.", and thus a peace was concluded, and the horses rejoiced.
Believing the world to be ending, and seemingly not having not the stomach to fight Legacy, the Republic turned on their protectors and benefactors and didst make every attempt to put in the boot. Alas for them, the world did not end, but the men of ARRSE will not stand for such betrayal and will finish what was started by the Republic. Beware, oh citizens of Mantrax, there are serpents on their way to your lands . . . . .
Where we joined with our new found allies Legacy to rampage through the lands belonging to the the Kingdom of Mirror and actually did pretty well for ourselves.
Where the dark forces of Serenity, NT and SE joined together to attack both ourselves and legacy and we suffered from quite a lot of pillaging and burning (though not much raping). It was also the era of the scumsucking traitors HoV who were our friends while it suited them and turned on us when we were down and of the traitor Balin whose name shall be struck from the roll of NARRSE (as we were then called)
Where we became the Kingdom of Rumour. Where we fought under the leadership of Spooky. Where we were actually doing pretty well until some very dubious "creative use of the game mechanics" by a sneaky Kingdom took out Rumour's top ten cities and then some. However we still finished respectably all being said and done.
It was the era where Soroban the Adventurer found ridiculous amounts of experience and treasure, Gonzo topped the most lucrative table for a while, Labrat topped the most powerful table for a while, Sixty had a ludicrous name, Cali got banned from posting in one of the VU forums, 50 nazguls could beat 5000 warlords and Spooky made far too many NAPs because she just wants to be everyone's friend....
Where Rumour fought against the combined forces of NT and Serenity, despite Spooky's best attempts to avoud a war on two fronts, which everyone knows is a Bad Idea.
It was the era where Legacy disbanded and most of their players came to join us which was a good laugh. It was the era where lots of Rumour players had HoH entries, Labrat had an invisible city surrounded by the enemy, Sixty had a ridiculous name (again!) and Spooky made far less NAPs than usual. It was the era of the flaming of Bertie Bassett, the grand trial of Arien vs Spooky, the siege of Charlie Soroban and OP RUMOUR INSURGENCY led by Gonzo and Labrat. Ultimately it was the era where Fatcakes cast Arma and we defended successfully to the end.
Is about to start - even more ARRSE KDs than usual - but I can't post the secret plan here so if you want to be part of the story - click here