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Difference between revisions of "The Life Guards"

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[[Category:Royal Armoured Corps]]
[[Category:Royal Armoured Corps]]

Latest revision as of 20:14, 20 February 2017

See Household Cavalry Regiment

A fine body of men. Big Charlie the Second raised them whilst in Bruges in 1658, and consisted of gentlemen with a penchant for whiskers and find attire as well as gentlemanly conduct. This tradition has remained with the current iteration (Amalgamated with the Blues & Royals) in that every Trooper of the Household Cavalry Regiment must have a suit. The gentlemanly part was allowed to slip due to recruitment issues.

You can now find them in one of two roles:

1. Stood outside Horse Guards in London (if they're a grotty scrote) or sat atop a beautiful (but no doubt psychotically minded) Cav Black horse.

Their favourite past time includes polishing boots, polishing tack, throwing poo-eggs at each other and raging at tourists who scrape their jackboots. Occasionally found smacking random nutjobs with their swords whilst on ceremonial as well.

Often, they will stand down from duty and take their boots off to find phone numbers, etc, of willing girls (and guys) stuffed down them - a suitable reward for a hard days work. Often, they'll just sneak a dirty in to the guardroom during the night and have their wicked way after luring them in with "Wanna see the horses?".

2. In Combermere Barracks, Windsor, trying their hardest to maintain the shitty CVR(T) fleet they were blessed with. Like that time an entire fleet turned up with all the vehicles flooded as the hatches had been left open, and rusted to fuck.

Of course, this is now in danger after the latest future model shows HCR being bumped to Newcastle. Normally it's a struggle to get people to go from HCR (Household Cavalry Regiment) to HCMR (Household Cavalry Mounted Regiment), however with the threat of them being fucked off up naarf, it's expected that there will be high demand to go mounted.

Nice guys in general, have a shiny capbadge and are known as 'tins' due to their capbadges allegedly being made of tin back in the day. Wow, what an insult.