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Strepsils - The Universal panacea for all known ailments, ills and maladies. Contains the miracle drug Hexylresorcinol (which is worth a fuck off amount in Scrabble).

The healing qualities of these throat lozenges should not be underestimated. So effective are they that they are now widely regarded as superior to the FFD, and a box of Strepsils can often be found taped to the fighting soldier's equipment, or tucked in to the helmet elastics in a Vietnam-stylee. The effects of blast injuries and sucking chest wounds are instantly countered by these little throaties - available in either traditional or honey & lemon flavours.

Erstwhile skivers on Monday morning Sick Parade would often be prescribed a box of Strepsils by the MO in lieu of a biff chit, proving that they were (and no doubt still are) the one-stop, cure all medicinal - the recipients seldom returning for further treatment. Specific cases of individuals on the verge of death (and worse) making miraculous recoveries are known.

Apart from the myriad battlefield injuries the modern soldier might sustain, Strepsils are also known to be effective against the following:

  • Cancer
  • Leukemia
  • HIV
  • Beri Beri
  • Ebola
  • Legionnaire's Disease
  • Malaria
  • Bird Flu
  • Sore throats
  • Not Swine Flu

Blackcurrant flavoured Strepsils can also be an adequate substitute for a boiled sweet although this can depend on how whiney/discerning the child/adult is.

Read more here and be amazed: