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Star Trek

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The Hague indicts starship captain for sex crimes against humanity (and other races).

Late 1960s Science Fiction TV program following the exploits of a single spaceship (the Enterprise) and its brave crew as it goes about its business in a utopian (and ever so slightly socialist) future.

The Constitution class cruiser Enterprise's duties appeared (on reflection) to be:

  • gunboat diplomacy.
  • vague scientific research for no obvious purpose.
  • encounter and slaughter of implausible space monsters.
  • causing 'natural' catastrophes.
  • inciting open warfare with several other races.
  • delivering the oversexed captain of said Enterprise to unexplored planets where he could molest anything that looked vaguely human(oid) and had discernible mammary glands (the more the merrier).

Significant for the first interracial kiss on Spam TV where the oversexed captain slipped some tongue to his black communications officer. The officer was female - he's a sex pest, not gay!

Also notable for:

  • A Scots engineer who repeatedly claimed that the engines were not capable of performing to obviously achievable specifications.
  • A mad Russian weapons officer who had constant panic attacks on the bridge when the ship was under attack.
  • A 1st Officer who only got a stiffy every 7 years and had no sense of humour (understandable if you only get a stiffy every 7 years!).
  • A nurse who married the writer of the show then got the other (much hotter) female actress sacked to make sure the nurse character got all the fan lust.
  • Future squaddies ('security guards' easily identifiable in their red shirts) used as cannon fodder to show the viewers how the monster works. If you arrive on a mysterious planet and its you and five regular members of the cast, don't expect your character to get its own action figure.
  • A doctor who constantly undermines the captain's decisions and seems incapable of saving wounded security guards.
  • A transportation system that treated your ass like a billion piece jigsaw.
  • The geekiest fans in the known galaxy.