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Squaddie 2 Step

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Not to be confused with "Celebrity Come Dancing" or any other crappy reality show.

This type of dance normally involves anything from 2-20 squaddies and can be manifested in a few ways:

1. At a Mess Do, wearing full Mess Kit, after imbiming cheap Bucks Fizz/Sherry to start with, then cheap wine at the table, half a bottle of Port each and then lots of JD.

2. In a pub, wearing desert boots complete with map of Africa jeans/shiney shoes and Moleskins (depending on rank), after imbibing 20 pints of wifebeater.

3. In a corridor, wearing pants on head, after imbibing the contents of your mate's fridge (normally cheeky Vimtos or Slivovitz or anything you find).

To complete the Two Step, you need to shuffle your feet about as if you are stamping on spiders, and use your arms like wings. Alternatively, wave your arms in the air. (Hi Ho Silver Lining rules apply here). A quick spin round, and a wink to the wife like you are John Travolta completes the motion. Do not attempt the splits if you are in Mess Dress.

To complete the evening, vomit down your mess dress, sleep on the floor/sofa/spare room/where you fall over in your own spew, and lag your pants.

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