|Date Joined||5th May 2007|
|Location||You tell me, is there vodka?|
The ARRSE resident alkyholic.
Anyone who's spent more than 5 minutes in the chat room over the past year, will almost certainly have seen Scuba_Angel. More commonly known as 'scoobs' she is generally to be found, in a cyber sense, slumped in the corner clutching a glass of vodka.
Prone to random acts of violence toward males she has an impressive assortment of ex boyfriends and stalkers safetly stored under her patio.
Contributions to the conversations are normally along the lines of trying to resurrect any stray memories of who she might have upset or insulted the previous evening.
This is not in any way in order to make apologies or through any sense of guilt, in fact, it has been long suspected that she doesn't feel that males have any feelings at all. The main reason for her struggling to recall her comments is the score card she keeps by her computer keyboard. One mark for every arrser that has been insulted, five for any arrser that immediately runs away blubbing after said abuse. Every time she reaches 100 marks she treats herself to a decent bottle of Asda Vodka instead of the Lidls Value bottles normally clustered about her person. This usually means at least one good bottle every week and an extra one at the weekend.
Also has been known to team up with fellow ARRSE Maidens in order to maximise the effect of her abuse.
Has been known to delve into serious conversations, fooling the participants into believing that she has some sense of moral code before dragging any topic down to the gutter with apparent ease.
It has been said recently that young scoobs has lost her way a little with her mistreatment of the male species. It has even been rumoured that she may have been seduced by a force more powerful than her own malevolent spirit. In short she may not be the scoobs we have all been in fear of any more.
May the gods have mercy on Mr Scoobs and thank him for martyring himself for us all
Unfortunately it seems the last Mr Scoobs has been discarded like so many before him. Of course this means that our heroine is on the prowl again, trying to ensnare a replacement drinks provider before old age and the ravages of brasso vodka make success even less likely.
The producers of Crimewatch have been notified and are waiting to hear back from the Spitting Image studios about the possibility of a realistic lookalike for scoobs so they can plan for the inevitable re-enactment of her 'seduction techniques'