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Rio de Janeiro

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Enormous sprawling city in Brazil. Forget the 1960s cosmopolitan idyll, Rio is a curious mixture of Blade Runner, Soweto and the Wild West. A twisted brain wrong of humanity, poverty abounds, as do scantily-clad Latino foxes with small tits in string bikinis that seem hardly worth bothering with.

Copacabana Beach is worth visiting for this aspect alone. Apart from that, it's a sweaty shithole full of drugged up pistoleros and one is advised to catch the first Varig flight back to London, where one can feel equally threatened, but at a slightly more comfortable temperature.