Phrases You'd Rather not Hear

• You've got three weeks to live
• You're posted to Tidworth
• Fix bayonets
• Your new Troop Sgt has just done P company
• Leave is cancelled
• Your dad is fcuking your sister
• Pick up the log
• March to the time I call out
• Do you accept my award
• It's character building
• I'm sorry, Sir, but I've had to remove your penis and both your testicles
• We've always done it that way!
• You are cordially invited to the 3 Para Mortar Platoon Rohypnol Party
• My office. Now.
• Move to Grid 12345678 where the helicopters will pick you up at 0300.
• Do you have anything planned for leave?
• It's your turn to blow the blind grenade.
• OK, integrity question, did you do it?
• I think it's yours
• Crack, Crack, Ping, Ping, THUMP.
• Sunray is down.
• Breaking into double time
• Taking you a stage further in your foot drill......... I left you in this position
• Rifle exercises judging the time.......
• Reveille 05 early hours and Drill until NAAFI break
• Contact, wait..out.
• Follow me, it's a short cut.
• Of course the Claymore is pointing away from us...er..which way are WE pointing ?
• Good effort lads, outstanding entry drills, but it's the wrong house.
• He's waking up, pass the KY, it's better when they fight back.
• GAS GAS GAS
• The RMP are in the block
• You feature rather a lot in the Christmas duty list
• I forgot to tell you, I've got herpes
• You will need this opened umberella dragged from your piss slit
• Don't make plans for the weekend
• The PRE team have just come through the gates
• You'll get it in theatre
• Is that it?
• We're all out of them, fill out all these forms and we will indent for them.
• There's an Officer in here improperly dressed...
• It's your round.
• Too slow, do it again!
• Standby....
• CDT are here??
• ONE! Two, Three, ONE!!
• Mr Vice...that'll be a bottle of port
• You're in your own time now.