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Mike Tyson

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Get this black mad fecker off me!

An absolute charmer of a man, Mike is often given the wrong reputation as a out of control boxer and rapist. In fact, he was merely trying to compliment the women on their choice of ear-piercings but concedes that approaching from the rear with his trousers down by his ankles, falling over and accidentally spearing the poor women, 'gives the wrong impression.'

Poor Mike, now a bankrupt and broken man, intends to move on with his worthless life by snorting huge amounts of cocaine that'd kill a bull elephant.