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Lynx

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2025048585_015c60ed66.jpg
The Lynx refit program affected its horizontal flight slightly.

Very sexy looking Chopper flown by fat men, the Lynx is the finest anti-submarine helicopter ever operated by the British Army. Ever. The elongated nose characteristic of the type is widely believed by those not in receipt of flying pay to be an extension to accommodate the pilot's wallet. Housed in the back amongst porn and blagged choccie bars lives most handsome creature of all (All modeled, genetically on J Harcus Esq).

Variants

There are 3 main variants still in UK service:

  • Lynx AH Mk7. Mostly recycled AH1 airframes with a new gearbox which could manage the power output from slightly less wheezy engines, and more butt-strapping down the tailboom. They were originally procured as an anti-tank aircraft equipped with 8 TOW missiles although this system went out of service in 1937. The aircraft will continue to soldier on in the utility role until the arrival of BLUH (In service date - 2042. Current fleet due to fall out of the sky - 2006). Instantly recognisable by the fact that it has skids and 200 litres of oil over every battered panel. The engines never need an oil-change; being mounted at 6 degrees from the horizontal, all the oil is automatically dumped on shut-down. Room in the back for two camp-beds. In theory a twin engined aircraft, it rarely lands in such a condition. Handles like a Ferrari and by coincidence is as reliable and as costly to run.
  • Lynx Mk 9. Bought in late 80's/early 90s to provide the Army with a utility aircraft capable of carrying more than a small map (see Gazelle). Main tasking has always been the delivery of soup to the troops hence the nickname of Soup Dragons. Also known as the Wheelybin and used to have a very vulnerable nose oleo that made a really scary noise when it broke. Mainwheel oleos are aledgedly sourced from a big bin of Whirlwind bits.
  • Lynx Mk 8. Operated by the Royal Navy, carries Stingray torpedoes, Sea Skua anti-ship missiles, GPMG, .50 cal machine gun, depth charges and therefore not worthy of further comment.

Operational Service

The Lynx Mk 7 saw action during Operation GRANBY when a particularly aggressive card board box was heavily disguised as a cardboard box and so engaged by a certain RCT Capt.... thus beginning the battle of Box hill.

Lynx has also been serving in Northern Ireland since the late 1970s.

Proverbs

Old Lynx pilots proverb: If something hasn't broken/fallen off/caught fire/exploded/failed/destroyed itself into oblivion/eaten itself/generally stopped functioning....its either just about to or its sat in the hangar

There are old Lynx pilots and bold Lynx pilots but there are no old, bold Lynx Pilots. This is actually complete horseshit as The Army Air Corps is full of Aircraft Commanders whom still consider forming a square to be a novel and untried tactic.

"Old Lynx Pilots never die. They just smell that way"