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The man himself:

Mikhail Timofeevich Kalashnikov


He came top of his class in Pottery and Needlework, designed a cheap nasty rifle with a distinguished sound, also called Clint Eastwood and told him to include the line 'The preferred weapon of your enemy' in Heartbreak ridge.

Lives on a strict diet of Omlettes and Vodka and is the founder member of the Minsk and district working mens club, the first former soviet working mens club to serve 'Websters' on draft'

In 1944 Kalashnikov developed an experimental model of the self-loading carbine, it's main units became the base for a creation of a new submachin gun in 1946 which gained a brilliant victory in difficult competitive tests. In 1949 after completion the automatic device was adopted by the Soviet Army, and senior sergeant M.T. Kalashnikov was awarded by the Stalin Price First Class.

The Government highly estimated M. T. Kalashnikov's services to the country. He was twice honoured as Hero of Socialist Labour (1958 and 1976) and became Stalin Prize (1949) and Lenin Prize (1964) laureate. In 1969 he was given the rank of Colonel and in 1971 awarded degree of Doctor of engineering science. M. T. Kalashnikov was decorated with three Orders of Lenin, Order of the Red Banner of Labour, Order of the Great Patriotic War of the First Class, Order of the Red Star and many medals.

Today Kalashnikov is a brand name being tagged onto umbrellas, watches, aftershave, knives, lamps, energy drinks, vodka, snowboards and all the capitalistic tat that a Hero of Socialist Labour should stand against. What next? MIG widescreen tv's!