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John Prescott

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John Leslie Prescott. Deputy Prime Minister and First Secretary of State. A Labour Party member, but (allegedly) not a Blairite, Prescott is 'Old Labour', but is increasingly seen as a lame duck, a figure of fun and a liability.

'Prezza' is famous for mangling the English language, but is one of the very few politicians these days who ever actually had a proper job when he worked as a steward for P&O - something that is pointed out to him at every opportunity by other MPs apparently - especially in the Commons bar. Generally perceived to be an embarrassing clown.


  • Called Two Jags as he has two government-paid-for Jaguars as his personal transport 'cause one isn't enough.
  • Called Two Jabs for punching out a protester after the protester threw an egg at him.
  • Called Two Shags after he boffed a secretary in his department while claiming he was working.

It has to be said that Prescott gained much kudos when it transpired he'd been pumping his PA, who, it must be said, wasn't half bad. She, however, must have been either blind, desperate or both.

If you really care: Biography

Read his gibberish here: Total Bollocks