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Revision as of 04:48, 13 April 2010 by Wingated (talk | contribs) (religulous idf & their foreign accents)
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Israeli Defence Force

Islam or Judaism? ... no contest!

Effectively 'born in battle' during the 1948 war for independence, the IDF is what has stopped the Arabs (Egyptians, Syrians, Jordanians) from turning Palestine/Israel into another fine example of ethnic cleansing.

A conscript army in which everyone who can wield a weapon must serve, it is considered an extension of the Israeli people. Military service is compulsory at 18 years of age for both males and females (with the exceptions of full-time Talmud students and mothers). Most men consequently have to serve several weeks of 'refresher' service (milu'im) every year up until the age of 42. This is the reason there are so many middle-aged Israelis working in American Maccy D's.

Has proved itself repeatedly to be a highly effective army with excellent leadership in the defence (sometime pre-emptively) of Israel's borders but suffers really badly when politico's use it for 'peacekeeping' or riot control.

Operates under a 10 eyes for an eye policy, ie don't piss them off or they'll get you, your family, your pets, your neighbours and their pets and then bulldoze the block into pancakes for good measure. This has done nothing to stop retaliatory terrorist attacks and in fact only makes it so much worse.

It also has done nothing for morale which is in the toilet these days. Resentment is fierceist against being sent to the Occupied Territories purely to defend the insanely right-wing ultra-Zionist fundies, whom successive governments have encouraged to aggressively disport themselves thereabouts (tax-free). A tiny but vociferous minority of conscripts not only support these Bible-is-my-real-estate-guide shitbags but have signed up precisely so as kickstart their righteous claim to some old guy's olive groves. These cnuts are easily recognised by their crocheted skullcaps and their Brooklyn/ Golders Green/ Montreal/ Jo'burg accents

On the other hand, veterans of the ill-fated Israeli involvement in the Lebanese Civil War started the ongoing Yesh Guval (There Is A Limit) group whose officers and conscripts - ready and willing to go anywhere else - choose the blockhouse rather than contribute to the mayhem over the fence.

Has nuclear weapons (assembled at Dimona AKA "a textile factory") which it will use if Israel looks about to be overrun. The Arab nations believe this, hence the negotiated peace with Egypt & Jordan and only simmering resentment and aid for terrorism from the Syrians.

Has a large number of heavily armed hot babes in ally - the UZI was designed so that it could be effectively wielded by women and conscripts. Most weapons instructors in the IDF are women - the official logic behind this indeed being the obvious one.

IDF Home page to be found here