Haggling

A system where rather than paying the price on the tag, you negotiate with the shopkeeper for the amount you are willing to offer.

Much favoured in the Arab world where haggling is a hobby, profession, source of entertainment and full contact combat sport.

Original suggested method for a Brit haggling abroad as follows:

1) You ask 'how muchie' and point at item.

2) The stall holder holds up more fingers than seems possible on just 2 hands

3) Look appalled and start to walk away.

4) Stall holder feels sale slipping away and gestures you back holding up slightly fewer fingers.

5) Feigning indifference suggest a paltry sum of money

REPEAT

Stallholder looks disgusted but reduces number of fingers

Look intrigued

Offer slightly more

UNTIL you and stall holder are happy with sum agreed

6) Get bargain home to realize you have been royally screwed out of £100 for cheap shite

At least that USED to be how haggling was done...

Current suggested method for a Brit haggling abroad:

1) You ask 'how muchie' and point at item.

2) The stall holder holds up more fingers than seems possible on just 2 hands

3) Look appalled and start to walk away.

4) Suddenly you find a small sack thrown over your head and a rope pulled tight at your throat.

5) Find yourself bundled down some stairs and into a cellar where cries of Allah Akbar echo.

6) Spend the next 3 weeks chained to a rusting fridge offering increasing large sums for your freedom.

7) Released in just your underwear outside the British Embassy out of pocket by thousands of pounds ... and feeling extremely happy for it.